Briefs vs. Eels

The Bikini Bottom Briefs vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels

@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Jean-Luc Picard enters the field of play!
Coin Toss: The Briefs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Squirrel Girl kicks to Machete Cortez. Hooper and the Xtacles down Machete mere inches from a kickoff touchdown. An extremely pissed off Machete begins attacking members of the Xtacles, causing a riot that sees the benches empty and aid come from both sides.

Machete is removed from play while his teammate Sam Merlotte takes his place, and an injured Grima Wormtongue is wheeled away as Demoman comes out from his extremely short Picard break. Now, lets play some football. Please?

First Quarter: With the game starting so close to his endzone, Picard makes it clear that the Briefs may come this far but no father. Hooper and the Xtacles agree and sack Saruman, injuring him. Elminster enters play to attempt the touchdown at the 2 yard line on the fourth down and is injured by a member of the Xtacles, fumbling the ball in the process. An xtacle takes possession and runs a 98 yard touchdown. Squirrel Girl hilariously fails at the try however. Third string quarterback Professor Hinkley comes out to try to turn things around for the Briefs. Bart manages to distract the referees long enough to allow Hinkley and KITT to work together to bypass the Xtacles for a long drive to the endzone. The hope is dashed quickly when the kick try is blocked for a turnover and another long drive giving the Xtacles another touchdown. They might as well be playing offense. Squirrel Girl pulls off the try successfully this time.

Second Quarter: Any hope for a rally is dashed when Demoman takes out the Goombas, leading to Krumm trying to defend against the speed of Scout - coupled with the Xtacles stealing Professor Hinkley's coconut, giving them even better tactical might. The rest of the quarter is spent watching the Eels basically field two offensive lines, with touchdowns and turnovers galore.
Third Quarter: Spongebob manages a lucky touchdown early on and gets the two point conversion right afterwards. Not long afterward Hartigan sacrifices for Krumm and KITT allows Krumm to drive him, allowing Krumm to slow the onslaught of touchdowns. But even without allowing the team to score, Hinkley can't get past the beefed up, well, coconutted up Hooper and Xtacles.
Fourth Quarter: This round comes to an early end when the Xtacles injure Hinkley, Jozan, and Tordek - limiting the available players that the Briefs can field. The credits roll while Demoman performs the New Tweeter Endzone dance.

Result: BBB 14 - GBSE 47