Season 3, Week 8

Commissioner's Note: Due to lack of strategies being sent in, and thus lack of plentiful writeups - coupled with finals week, this week will be one quick post with highlights.

GAME ONE:

Aberrations beat Impalers 48 - 21
Highlights: A new player
“As the Aberrations take the field, a new creature comes with them.  It seems to be a giant insect of some sort, complete with huge mandibles and long forearms, with 4 very strong, shorter, human arms attached to the torso.  As the Abberations lineup is announced, they call it “Umber Goro”, and seem to have it playing…kicker…”

Ousa is resurrected from death last week by Jozan. The Aberrations re-kill Falkor.
GAME TWO:

The Eels test their streak with a slight win in triple overtime over the MIA - 121 to 118

GAME THREE:
Grenades win 28 - 21
Grenades win in the third quarter when neither team can field a full team and they are already in the lead.

GAME FOUR:

Browncoats win 33 - 17

Browncoats use the rules of the game and see the Leviathans get blackflagged until they can't field a full team and forfeit.

GAME FIVE:

Pandas win 13 - 6

GAME SIX:

Crows win 40 - 33
HORCRUX/RIDDLE UPDATE:
Following up on the dual clues last week, RIDDLE was able to deduce that the next two targets are Pinhead's Lament Configuration puzzle box and the Holocaust Cloak hanging in the Eels trophy room. As of now, the coalition has not come up with a strategy to destroy either item.

Coalition vs Mustangs

The Central City Coalition

vs.

The Manehatten Mustangs

@ Wonderbolt Stadium



 Paragon Percentage: The Hulk will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mustangs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lee kicks to Ana Steele, who is brutally sacked by Sinestro.

Entire Game Synopsis:  This sums it up:  RIP Sean Angus "Sam" Malloy - son of Angus MacGyver.

Result: CCC 66 - MM 3



Briefs vs Coalition

The Bikini Bottom Briefs

vs.

The Central City Coalition

@ High Tide Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: The Hulk will enter play.

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.

Kick off: Lee kicks to Tordek, who is immediately injured by Bizarro.

Synopsis: By about a minute into the second quarter, the Briefs are entirely injured except for Hartigan. The refs call the game as a sign of mercy.

Result: BBB 3 - CCC 47



Coalition vs Mashers

The Central City Coalition

vs.

The Margathean Mashers

@ Total Perspective Vortex Arena

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mashers win, will receive.

Kickoff: Stan Lee kicks to midfield and after a scramble Neil Patrick Harris picks it up, and a quick wink at Storm convinces her not to tackle him. Neil keeps avoiding The Flash until Bizarro takes him down after a long gain.

First: Skeletor and Panthor deliver a pass to Space Ghost, who is charmed by a kidd from Poison Ivy and fumbles the ball to her. However Poison Ivy is tackled hard by Trillian without gaining any yardage. The Coalition offense comes in and Deadpool hands off to The Flash who vibrates through The Warriors for a touchdown. Lee attempts a extra point try but is unsuccessful. The Mashers gain the ball and Marvin depresses Poison Ivy with a tale of how all plant life on earth is dying allowing Trillian to score a touchdown. However his depressed ways quickly turn against the team when he fails to catch the conversion attempt.
Second: The Coalition carries and are instantly successful when Ambush Bug receives the hand off and ports to the end zone. The Flash vibrates through the Warriors defensive line again for the conversion. The Mashers team up and maneuver quickly around Poison Ivy to score on their third down and Ford succeeds on the try. Deadpool regains the offense and attempts a pass to The Tick but Sinestro tries for it himself, causing a fumble that is picked up by Ajax of The Warriors who avoids The Flash and Deadpool only to get gridlocked by Bizarro, causing a sudden brawl in the midfield. By the time the refs have cleared the way, time runs out before the Mashers can make a move with their sudden possesion.

Third:  The first half of the quarter is a bore until by accident Bizarro runs the wrong play and ends up tackled in his own end zone, giving a safety to the Mashers. The Flash retaliates with a quick touchdown and a conversion but the advance isn't much when Zaphod and Trillian manage to fake out Poison and allow Arthur to score.

Fourth: Neil Patrick Harris manages to charm Poison Ivy and get by her for an early touchdown but she comes around and blocks him from the conversion. The Warriors finally find a way to prevent The Flash from vibrating through the use of sound waves (specifically glass bottles) and injure him early on. Solomon Grundy comes out to replace him. The Coalition is much slower without Allen but still aggressive, finally getting to the end zone after several down resets. The try fails and the clock runs out shortly afterwards during the Mashers offense.

Result: CCC 28 - MM 27

Hippie Punchers vs. Coalition

The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers

vs.

The Central City Coalition

@ Mann Mansion

Paragon Percentage: Both Paragons will enter play.

Coin Toss: Hippie Punchers win, will receive.

Kickoff: Stan Lee kicks, and Carnage picks it up after a scramble and is taken down by Bizarro.

Entire Game Synopsis: This game lastes 1 minute and 47 seconds. Here is the play-by-play:

00:01-00:07 = (During Kickoff, all players on field) Mike Hammer murders Snapper Carr while Ellen Ripley injures Storm while The Flash vibrates straight the fuck through Jim Gordon (severe condition - death possible).

00:08-00:23 = Poison Ivy charms Mothman, who activates his ability immediately. As a result, Deadpool takes out Carnage. The possession changes and Casey takes out Poison Ivy.

00:24-00:43 = Scarface injures Ambush Bug before The Hulk steps in as DST and takes out Scarface and Hammer.

00:44-01:02 = Ellen shows The Hulk pictures of Betty Ross being set on fire by Pyro, enraging him even more and rolling the brawl into the stands. When the refs realize they can't get Ripley or Hulk back, they decide to continue the game.

01:03-01:32 = War Machine injures The Flash but is taken out by Bizarro. Soldier takes out O.G.R.E. and Pyro merrily sets some of them on fire.

01:33-01:47 = National Guard arrive in time to put out Section A of the stadium and save some of the fans lives. The refs decide that the Coalition win since they have the most still standing on the field of play and because Bizarro was standing really close to them during deliberations. As of this time, the location of Ripley and the Hulk is unknown.

Result: MCHP 0 - CCC 0

RIP SNAPPER

Mashers vs. Coalition

The Margathean Mashers vs. The Central City Coalition

@ Total Perspective Vortex Arena

Paragon Percentage: Shephard Book will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mashers win, will receive.

Kickoff: Stan Lee does a light kick that is picked up after a scramble by Neil Patrick Harris who avoids Bizarro for a return touchdown to start the game.

Entire Game Synopsis: Though the Coalition has a strong team and probably would have pulled ahead if facing the Mashers alone, they can not compete with Book's tactical might and defense without their own paragon. However they do prevent a full blowout by the paragon-backed Mashers, which speaks loads about their skill.

Result: MM 35 - CCC 17



Coalition vs. Miners

The Central City Coalition vs. The Morian Miners

@ The Forge Field

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play

Coin Toss: Miners win, will receive

Kick Off: Sinestro manages a long pass to the hobbit Merry who is almost immediately taken down right at the 1 yard line by The Flash. However his entwater height causes him to fall back into the endzone, giving the coalition a safety.

First Quarter: The first quarter goes by fast as Dumbledore does everything in his power to try to hold back the impressive onslaught of the Coalition. He finally finds a plan and distracts refs as Carl Johnson takes out Snapper Carr and Stan Lee, resulting in an immediate measurable downgrade of the Coalition's on-field prowess.

Second Quarter: Even without Lee and Carr the Coalition, under The Flash's guidance, manages to consistently drive down the field. But Carl, Merry, and Thrall seem to be repeating the same for the Miners as they easily bypass O.G.R.E. By the end of the first half the score has been nearly leveled with the Coalition up by 2.

Third Quarter: Deadpool injures Azog but Azog returns the favor, even though Deadpool comes right back. The two are removed from play but don't seem to notice as they continue to fight it out in the entry tunnel. Solomon Grundy and William Riker replace them. Ambush Bug slips around the Miners for an easy touchdown, but Bilbo has the ref in his pocket and gets the play nullified. When they attempt a repeat Robin manages to manipulate for Bregan D'aerthe to intercept. Once the offense takes the field, Thrall manages to touchdown to put the Miners in the lead for the first time in the game.

Fourth Quarter: The teams manage to prevent extra tries, but keep exchanging touchdowns. Trailing by 2 and with moments left on the clock, the Coalition fields Sinestro who manages a field goal to give the team the win.

Result: CCC 63 - MM - 62

Coalition vs. Lycanthropes

The Central City Coalition vs. The Lankmar Lycanthropes
@ The Ballpark of Pleasure
CONFERENCE QUALIFIERS

Coin Toss: Lycans win, will receive
Kickoff: Iron Man launches to Bender, who could easily lateral to Animal for a kickoff return touchdown but refuses to give up the ball and is taken down by Black Manta at the LL 45.
Synopsis: The Lycans stick to a simple yet effective game with Mr. Wizard relieving Daredevil and relying heavily on Animal while Black Manta can not keep up. Conversely, The Cookie Monster is all but useless against the offensive might of the Coalition. We end up watching a game of constant touchdowns, with the DST of each team eventually being injured and slowly replaced by a benchwarmer. This is constant the entire game except a few key moments: Goku ruins a perfect chance for a touchdown while not paying attention to the clock; Superman is injured by Green Lantern's new green suit made of Kryptonite which Mr. Wizard snuck to him at half time; Iron Man and Sinestro are both removed from play for illegal carrying and fighting. It is these final losses that allow the Lycans to narrowly win the day.

RESULT: CCC 87 - LL 103

Hippie Punchers vs. Coalition

The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers vs. The Central City Coalition
@ Leawood Stadium

Coin Toss: Punchers win, will kick.
Kickoff: Sniper kicks, Superman catches. Superman is down. Medics are out. Looks like Jules grabbed some Kryptonite from a nearby glowing suitcase and stuffed the football. Superman is out. Replaced by Deadpool. Refs rule that supes took the knee in the endzone. Safety for the Punchers.
1st: Jules pulls Scout and Throttle and brings in Engineer and - surprisngly, Splinter. The Flash manages a touchdown but is taken out by the Engineer's sentry when he stops (replaced by James T. Kirk). Black Adam and Bizarro meet similar fates (though also score) (replaced by Leonardo and Venkman) but Sinestro catches on and takes out the Engineer (replaced by Scout). The Coalition is in a strong lead but down its main players at the end of the quarter.
2nd: Sinestro manages to take out the tactical genius Jules but while distracted is downed by Myers. Splinter takes over for Jules while Throttle returns, and Sinestro is replaced by Wonder Woman. The Green Lantern manages one final touchdown at the end of the quarter for a first half lead for the Coalition of 25 to 2.
3rd: All hell breaks loose. The Soldier is removed from play by the refs but not before decimating the CC 15 yard line area, and injuring Kirk and Iron Man who are replaced by Chucky and fucking no one because they're all dead. The Soldier is replaced by ALF. Splinter and the Scout begin a phenomenal running play game with 7 touchdowns and 3 conversions.
4th: With their team in shambles, the usually dominating Coalition is left defenseless while a geriatric rat and a kid from Boston rock their world.

RESULT: MCHP 79 - CCC 25

Coalition vs. Headcrabs

The Central City Coalition vs. City 17 Fighting Headcrabs

@ The Citadel Coliseum

Coin Toss: Coalition wins, will receive.
Kickoff: Pyro kicks, Superman catches, laterals to The Flash, who touchdowns.
Entier Game Synopsis: Literally, this is back and forth. Every play is a touchdown and a successful try, back and forth. The defense of each team can't compete against the might of the offense.

RESULT: CCC 147 - FH 140