Season 3 Week 9

BROWNCOATS vs ABERRATIONS
Aberrations outsmart the Browncoats 43 - 27

MIA vs IMPALERS

The MIA show why they're the Fastest Team Alive - ranking up a high score of 89 - 34

EELS vs LEVIATHANS
A passing game back and forth ends when the Leviathans have too many players blackflagged for injury, allowing the Eels to win as the current points leader at 21 - 14

MILITANTS vs SENTINELS
In the second upset of the week, the winless Sentinels break their bad luck streak on the backs of the Militants 32 - 27, mostly as a result of the Militants having several starters injured early on.

PANDAS vs CROWS

Coin Toss: Pandas win, will receive
Kickoff: Buzzsaw kicks for a pickup by Indiana Jones, who manages a decent gain before being taken down by Wonder Woman.
Game Synopsis: The first quarter of the game sees the Crows gain a considerable lead, as the Panda defense can't even touch their offensive line. Jax Teller comes in during the first quarter replacing King Kong as defense for one play. This gives the Pandas basically a free touchdown but during the play Jax injures Fred Flintstone, putting him out for the game. Kong returns to defense after this. Things finally turn darker for the Crows when Neil Patrick Harris manages to seduce Wonder Woman away from the Crows. Kong is deflated and upset and not quite as potent as he previously was, though still stronger than the Panda defense. The Pandas restructure their line. During the second quarter the sexual harrassers manage a few touchdowns and cycle through several bench players. Thunderbird replaces the dejected Kong for a play and ends up injuring Ambush Bug. However the Pandas manage to utilize Kirk to counteract the efficiency of The Doctor. During the second half, Jax returns for a play and injures Cowardly Lion before he gains the courage to fight back. The Pandas turn Wonder Woman against her former teammates and manage to get the truth of their playbook out of them, allowing them to return score. In the end it comes down to raw stats as the slightly superior Kong defense and the fourth quarter injection of Neville without the Pandas own Lion to counteract gives them the upperhand.

After the game the Crows are seen cussing out their newest recruit The War Doctor for allowing Kirk to get into his head.

Final: SHP 39 - CC 41

GRENADES vs AUTOMATONSThe Atlus boys continue a streak of refined gameplay when they pummel the Automatons 38 - 21

Season 3, Week 8

Commissioner's Note: Due to lack of strategies being sent in, and thus lack of plentiful writeups - coupled with finals week, this week will be one quick post with highlights.

GAME ONE:

Aberrations beat Impalers 48 - 21
Highlights: A new player
“As the Aberrations take the field, a new creature comes with them.  It seems to be a giant insect of some sort, complete with huge mandibles and long forearms, with 4 very strong, shorter, human arms attached to the torso.  As the Abberations lineup is announced, they call it “Umber Goro”, and seem to have it playing…kicker…”

Ousa is resurrected from death last week by Jozan. The Aberrations re-kill Falkor.
GAME TWO:

The Eels test their streak with a slight win in triple overtime over the MIA - 121 to 118

GAME THREE:
Grenades win 28 - 21
Grenades win in the third quarter when neither team can field a full team and they are already in the lead.

GAME FOUR:

Browncoats win 33 - 17

Browncoats use the rules of the game and see the Leviathans get blackflagged until they can't field a full team and forfeit.

GAME FIVE:

Pandas win 13 - 6

GAME SIX:

Crows win 40 - 33
HORCRUX/RIDDLE UPDATE:
Following up on the dual clues last week, RIDDLE was able to deduce that the next two targets are Pinhead's Lament Configuration puzzle box and the Holocaust Cloak hanging in the Eels trophy room. As of now, the coalition has not come up with a strategy to destroy either item.

Browncoats vs Automatons

THE BIG DAMN BROWNCOATS

vs.

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

Coin Toss: Browncoats win, will receive.

Kickoff: Kong kicks for a pickup by Took, who is tackled by Blackbeard.

Game Synopsis: The Browncoats are still feeling the loss of tactical genius and former quarterback Neil DeGrasse Tyson. However they still have a very fast team. The Automatons rely on a slightly more tactical game. The defensive ends of both teams fail to keep up with their opponents offense. In the end its the speed of the Browncoats and Took's interceptions that put them ahead. 

Final: BDB 36 - MA 30

Automatons vs Sentinels

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

vs

THE CYBERTRON SENTINELS

Coin Toss: Solo helps the Sentinels receive first. 

Kickoff: Kong kicks for a pickup from by Steele who carries long before being taken down by Sailor Moon.

Game Synopsis: In a rare call, the referees require Sagara (who interfered in a match this week between to other players, see previous post) to not be playable this week. Already being on the bench, the Automatons are not immediately hurt. Tactically, the Automatons are much more refined than the Sentinels. But the big machine monster can outrun the Automatons with ease. Data helps keep the Automatons score in check, but they manage to keep just enough of a lead to win. 

Final: MA 32 - CS 27

Impalers vs. Automatons

THE IMMORTAL IMPALERS

vs

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

Coin Toss: Impalers win, will receive.

Kickoff: Kong kicks for a pickup by Predator, who makes a large gain before being brought down by the combined forces of several Automatons.

Game Synopsis: In a resounding upset, the Impalers destroy the favored Automatons. Though both sides present some strong plays, the tactical might of the Impalers - boosted greatly by Joe Dawson, can't be matched by the Automatons. Meanwhile the automaton defense can not keep up with the speed of most of the Impaler carriers. 

Final: II 44 - MA 21

Automatons vs. Eels

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

vs.

THE GUILDER BAY SHRIEKING EELS

Coin Toss: The Automatons win, will receive.

Kickoff: Our Lord-and-Savior Jesus Christ kicks and the ball is picked up by Kirby who begins to make gains. Meanwhile, on the Eels sidelines Professor X mind controls Blackbeard, getting him to steal Grima's kink - and then having the kink used on Kirby to switch sides to the Eels. Kirby swallows the Gelatinous Cube and uses it on Donkey Kong, then purposely fumbles the ball which is picked up by Spider-Man and returned for a touchdown for the Eels.

Game Synopsis: The Automatons remove the treacherous Kirby and the weakened Kong from play, bringing in Grima Wormtongue to kick and Sagara to replace Kirby. The Automatons first begin by using their usual favorite carrier V but quickly learn that Eel Xtacle Hooper can easily tackle him. This leaves them to a shaky start, only managing to score finally in the second quarter. The Eels meanwhile take advantage of the weakened team to score. In the second half, Hulk comes out on defense long after V has been injured. Without their starters, and with a pissed off Hulk, the Eels just continue to pull ahead. 

Final: MA 21 - GBSE 47

Militants vs. Automatons

THE MILITANTS OF OOO

vs.

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive

Kickoff: Hagrid kicks lightly to Kirby, who makes no gain before being taken down by Jake the Dog. 

1st Quarter: Starting strong, Gandalf refuses to allow the Automatons to pass. Having to rely on their running game, the Automatons quickly learn that they can't outrun the Foot Clan. V becomes their only hope but can't get the ball when completely surrounded by Foot every play. The Militants regain the ball Crash avoids the Roughnecks entirely for an immediate touchdown. Hawkeye nails a pass to Jake for the conversion. Time runs out while the Automatons are trying to run back up field with no success. 

2nd Quarter: Kong fails on a 40 yard throwaway fourth down kick and once again the Militants receive the ball. This time the Cheshire Cat avoids the Roughnecks for a touchdown and Hawkeye lands a conversion pass. The Automatons finally manage to make some pass plays which send them further down field. With V still surrounded, Iskandar summons his chariot and rides into the end zone. The team plays it safe and Kong succeeds on the extra point kick. The militans regain the ball with a while left and do a hand off to Hagrid. With no one on their team able to tackle him, Hagrid makes a very slow touchdown that runs out the clock. The team fails to make the conversion. 

3rd Quarter: Blackbeard steals Hagrid's kink and himself returns for an extremely slow touchdown. Down a bit the Automatons go for the conversion but are blocked by the Foot Clan. The Militants regain possession and once again Crash ignores the Roughnecks for an immediate touchdown followed up by Hawkeye landing a conversion pass. Kirby manages to suck in all the Foot Clan while Sailor Moon sneaks in for the touchdown unmolested. This time the team succeeds on the conversion.

4th Quarter: Once again with the ball, this time the militants begin trying to let the clock run out. Eventually Hawkeye manages a touchdown pass and then Jake stretches into the endzone for the conversion. The Automatons regain the ball, and get their last touchdown with seconds left after the Gelatinous Cube absorbs the abilities of the Foot Clan. They succeed on the conversion but it isn't enough to prevent the upset. 

Final: MOO 38 - MA 29

Automatons vs Leviathans

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

vs.

THE INNSMOUTH LEVIATHANS

Coin Toss: Leviathans win, will receive
Kickoff: King Kong kicks to Smaug, who bypasses for a return touchdown.
Game Synopsis: Both teams stay strong and close throughout the game but in the end its the ability to ignore injury that the Automatons main carriers showcase - and the refusal to try a different tactic by the Leviathan villains, that allows the Automatons to pull ahead.

Final: MA 37 - IL 34

Pandas vs. Automatons

THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT PANDAS

vs.

THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS

Coin Toss: The Pandas win, will receive
Kickoff: Donkey Kong kicks off to Neil Patrick Harris who is tackled quickly by Kirby.
1st Quarter: The Pandas begin a hard-hitting running game with the very fast Flintstone. The Roughnecks can't catch him once he breaks the line, so they finally begin to double up on him. Clifford the Big Red Dog trembles the ground making the Roughnecks still lose their footing, allowing Flintstone to get into the end zone. Indiana Jones uses his bullwhip for an easy two point conversion. Mithril regains possession and Iskandar immediately chariots up and returns a touchdown. The Warriors can not physically stop V who makes the conversion.
2nd Quarter: Marty McFly quickly uses his perfect-for-a-shaky-cam abilities to move around the Roughnecks and show Iskandar that both quarterbacks can land a personal touchdown. Korben makes the conversion. The Automatons regain the ball and Kirby immediately sucks up The Warriors and takes their ability, thus granting all his allies it. Sailor Moon is buffed and manages a easy touchdown. The conversion succeeds when the Gelatinous Cube also sucks up The Warriors and buffs up its own stats to any of theirs that are better for the rest of the game, leaving them with the weaker stats.
2nd Half: Marty again goes for a strong running game with the Bedrock Whip play, doing a handoff to Indiana Jones who uses his bullwhip to immediately gain ten yards and then lateral to Flintstone who manages to run 10 or 20 more with ease each time. The smart plays by the Militant offense are unfortunately not aided by their weakened defensive line in a post-Kirby world. The Automatons are able to continuously drill out one-play touchdowns. Both teams are scoring often, but the Automatons pull away as they seem to score twice for every Militant score.

Final: SHP 58 - MA 83

Aberrations vs. Automatons

The Asgardian Aberrations

vs.

The Mithril Automatons

@ A remote desert in Southern Afghanistan

Paragon Percentage: Due to a pre-existing agreement between both parties, both teams will have their paragons in play. The Automatons bring out Sailor Moon, while the Aberrations - lacking in a paragon (Batman has been psuedo-reincarnated by a Mindflayer as the newly named Blrrtman, but is not as his full capacity) have had Batman's old friend Nightwing come out to support them in this role for one week. However, due to the roster limitations, Nightwing will wait in the...wait for it....wings...until a slot opens up. Sailor Moon agrees not to take over the QB or Defensive major roles as a token for his wait.

Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive.

Kickoff: Donatello kicks to midfield where Kirby catches, driving center before being tackled by Brienne of Tarth.

First: Moments into the game, Blackbeard points to the sidelines and uses his kink to take over the kink of Lobo. Now impossible to injure, the team begins to make headway with the help of Sailor Moon. Relying heavily on a running game, the Automatons make headway against the now not-so-daring Lobo defense. Sure enough, a few moments in Lobo is injured. Ouka takes over that injury and backs out of the game, while Nightwing now enters and has Lobo step the fuck aside. Simba also steps out to aid the removal of his injured ally. During all this, the Automatons manage to secure a touchdown and conversion. Possesion changes and the Aberrations begin to fight back. Blrrtman shows his newfound kink by using some of the abilities stolen from injured opponents whose brains he munched on during his off weeks. The possession does not last nearly as long as the Aberrations rely on a passing game with Hawkeye passing off to Goro. The Army of the Undead, though unlimited, are semi-easily though slowly cleared out of the way by the very-familiar-to-this-situation Legolas with help from Venom and Brienne. However the sheer numbers do prevent small gains, which prevents a conversion.

Second: Shang Tsung pulls a sideline suckup and steals Donatello's kink, using it to reprogram GIR against the Aberrations. The Automatons find a much slower path to the endzone with Nightwing handling the Aberration defense. Eventually Iskandar pulls out his Chariot and manages to get by, but Nightwing's aerial prowess sees him easily block the kick. The Aberrations hit the field hard but see two penalties for extra men on the field until realizing that something is wrong with the supposed-to-be-benched GIR. With GIR removed to the lockers, the team starts at a third and long. Hawkeye manages to pull the team back into a first down with his passing, and the team again slowly slugs their way through the army and finally enter the end zone. The slow march takes up most of the quarter. This time Venom and Brienne make a wall in front of Legolas and allow him to make the conversion. At half time, the score is tied.

Third: The Aberrations take the field with Simba back, and the Automatons prepare for their carry. In a harsh play, Iskandar is injured while a somehow randomly Amazing Zapp maneuvers around Nightwing for a 81 yard touchdown. Iskandar is removed from play but Kirby manages to secure his abilities and keep the stone so that the Army of the Undead still fight for the Automatons. Professor Layton takes over QB duties for Mithril. With strong kinked-up players on both sides, we see a very gridlocked quarter mostly. No points are scored, though we do see a failed attempt at a seduction. Brienne is just damn near immune to the charms of men. The Aberrations do manage to force through the army for a touchdown but do not manage the try. Again we see the score tied at the end of a quarter.

Fourth: The Aberrations put the trust Lion duo of Simba and .... Lion (lets say his real name is... Lionel?) into play. With the .... mane attractions ... in play the Aberrations finally begin to pick up the pace after their delays due to kinks. Blrrtman and the duo aid the team in more effectively tearing through the army. As a result the Aberrations manage an extra carry and touchdown this quarter, giving them the win by a [lion's] hair.

Result: AA 32 - MA 26

Automatons vs Lycanthropes

The Mithril Automatons

vs.

The Lankhmar Lycanthropes

@ Tuatha de Danaan

Paragon Percentage: Wonder Woman will enter play.

Coin Toss: Lycans win, will receive

Kickoff: Zapp kicks to Xena, who escapes a few tackle attempts to make a large gain before being brought down by Saber.

Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Lycans slowly pull ahead though its still a tough match. No major highlights to report of.

Result: MA 27 - LL 45

Mercs vs Automatons

The Mandalorian Mercs

vs.

The Mithril Automatons

@ Tuatha de Danaan

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mercs win, will receive.

Kickoff: Zapp kicks off to Snake Eyes, who slips by Shang Tsung only to be tackled by Kirby.

First: Boba and Iskandar go head to head in a tactical game of football chess as they try to break by the other's defense. Several possesions come and go until Iskandar decides to up the odds and summons his chariot. With that speed the Automatons score and get the conversion. The Mercs come back with a strong passing game but Iskandar's alliance with the Army of the Dead grants them speed that the Mercs can't bypass, resulting in Boba relying on Nightcrawler to bypass for a touchdown before being blocked during a extra point try attempt. With moments left, the Automatons speed back down the grid iron and into the endzone.
Second: With the chariot gone, Boba decides to return the favor and has Nightcrawler bypass them again. Samwise finds a path by Ionioi Hetairoi and the conversion is good. V injures the foot clan who are replaced by Bill Clinton. Shang injures Clinton and steals his kink, and then McCoy replaces Clinton. Kirby then absorbs McCoy, incapacitating him for a play allowing the Automatons to score and granting Kirby some traits of Bones. Pissed off, Boba brings in Green Lantern for a long field goal before the clock runs out - which is successful.

Third & Fourth: McCoy injures Iskandar early on, who is replaced by Sagara while Kirby uses his stolen abilities to fix Iskandar. In the meantime Sagara plants explosives on  their fourth down, and possession changes. During an offensive rally by the Mercs, the explosives go off injuring Boba, Bean, and Magneto. Shredder, Harvey Birdman, and D replace them. This is the final blow and destroys the Mercs onslaught, and the Automatons are able to pull away in the fourth.

Result: MM 23 - MA 42

Cyberbrains vs. Automatons

The Chiba Cyberbrains vs. The Mithril Automatons

@ Section 9 Superdome

 Paragon Percentage: Sailor Moon will enter play.

Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive.

Kickoff: Guile kicks a long one to Kirby, who absorbs V's power and uses to it to avoid a few tackle attempts and land a touchdown.

Entire Game Synopsis: In the third quarter, the Cyberbrains manage to use some abilities to land in the end zone. Other than those few moments, this game belongs to the Automatons fully. Highlights include....

RIP FIREBALL

You deserved better than what Shang Tsung did to you.

Result: CC 7 - MA 69 

Automatons vs. MIA

The Mithril Automatons vs. The Alderaan MIA

@ The Grayeyard Astrodome

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: MIA win, will receive

Kickoff: Zapp kicks to Mr. Fantastic, who begins to use his ability to attempt an immediate touchdown when he is blocked by Shang Tsung so roughly that he is actually injured immediately and drops the ball. Shang picks the fumble up and activates his own Soul Stealing mimicry to use Mr. Fantastic's ability against him - scoring a return-return touchdown for the Automatons.

First Quarter: The MIA attempt to recover and King Arthur comes in for the injured Mr. Fantastic. Harley and Joker manage a bombplay and score for the MIA but fail in their real goal of injuring Ionioi as they are beefed up thanks to the aid of Iskandar. Iskandar retaliates with a chariot touchdown and an easy conversion. The MIA gain the ball again with Kitana taking over flex duties for the removed-after-bomb Joker while Mr. Miyagi replaces Harley for the same reason. Miyagi's tactical might allows him to utilize Sonic and get around the Automatons defense for another touchdown, but the dreams of that continuing are dashed when the Army of the King injure him during the try attempt. He is replaced by Harry Dresden.

Second Quarter: The Automatons start strong when Shang, though too worn out to use his kink again - allows teammate Kirby to use his kink and thus gain Mr. Fantastic's ability - using it to immediately score. During this same play V manages to injure the Battletoads, who are replaced by Kyle Broflovski - leaving the MIA bench empty. Working with second rate players, the MIA manage to fumble but Kitana forces Ionioi to fumble it back with her kink but it doesn't help. Time runs out during their third down.

Second Half: Harry manages to incapacitate the Army of the King for a play so the MIA can score, but its the last of endzone they'll see. The Automatons make a show of systematically increasing their score against their opponents, but refuse to injure anyone else so they can have more time to do so without the game being called.

Result: MA 76 - AMIA 18

Automatons vs. Grenades

The Mithril Automatons vs.

The Atlus Rocket Propelled Grenades

@ The Rooftop of Junes

Paragon Percentage: Neither Paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: Grenades win, will receive.

Kickoff: Zapp kicks, Scruffy catches, and V brings him down shortly afterwards.

First Quarter: Sam relys a ton on Cosmo's distracting actions to have Eric succeed on several early touchdowns. Meanwhile Iskandar starts strong with a chariot summoned touchdown and an invisible ball trick with Saber to keep the scores relatively close.

Second Quarter: Saber pulls his magic again and slips by The Goonies, but won't be repeating as his time across enemy lines leads to him falling for Eric. Saber crosses over and Sagara enters play. Sam is able to lead the Grenades on a streak but the quarter ends when Sagara manages to seriously injure Sam, Scruffy, and Swamp Thing. Tyler Durden, Henry Rollins, and Neville Longbottom come out to replace them but time ends.

Third Quarter: Black Dynamite has entered in for a removed Sagara and we see the two teams come to a stalemate, advancing back and forth but failing to score for a few possesions. In a reverse maneuver, Phoenix Wright falls for Jack Harkness and changes sides, being replaced by Calvin. Blackbeard manages to leach Cosmo's erraticness and as a result Cosmo is tackled and hurt, being replaced by Butters. In the final play of the quarter the Automatons bridge the gap the Grenades made in the second quarter with a touchdown and conversion.

Fourth Quarter: Again, we see a stalemate proceed until finally with less than 30 seconds on the clock the Automatons pull off a succesful pass and land a touchdown giving them a four point lead. However the Grenades gain possesion with 12 seconds on the clock and Dean pulls out his 67 Impala and literally drives over the competition to score as well, and with their conversion gain a 2 point lead. The Automatons have no choice but to attempt a field goal from over 70 yards away which seems hopeless but somehow Zapp has dumb luck and actually nails it. The crowd goes wild and the Automatons win by one point.

Result: MA 39 - ARPG 38

Phoenixes vs. Automatons

The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs The Angel Grove Automatons

@ The Juice & Gym Gymnasium

Toss: Phoenixes win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ichigo kicks, Spiderman catches, avoids Japanese Spiderman and manages a return touchdown.
1st: Optimus Prime is able to just barely stop the Automatons, causing a turnover on a fourth down. Japanese Spiderman is not able to prevent the Phoenixes at first. Finally, he brings in his gun and giant robot and takes out Duncan MacLeod. Duncan is replaced by Hellboy, while Japanese Spiderman is removed from play and replaced by Xenomorph. Towards the end of the quarter, Megatron and Optimus Prime begin to settle their own personal score right in the middle of the field. Both manage to seriously injure each other, while Optimus' preoccupation with Megatron allows the Automatons to score. Dean Winchester replaces Optimus and the Ultimate Warrior replaces Megatron.
2nd: A healed Duncan re-enters play. The Xenomorph manages to injure Connor, who is replaced by Madea. This allows Stan Lee to fight back and close the gap while the tactical might behind the Phoenixes is incapacitated.
3rd: A healed Connor reenters play with the score tied. Dean Winchester runs over and sacks Lee, causing a fumble and gaining possession. Lee is replaced by Krueger, who personally removes himself after one play because its fucking hard to throw a ball with scissorhands. Ripster comes in. The Ultimate Warrior manages to score but is so fatigured afterwards that he has to rest, bringing Romney in as a replacement. Most of the quarter is owned by Connor who lands multiple touchdowns to Duncan and Spiderman. He would have landed one to The Comedian but The Comedian was too busy awkwardly assaulting Rainbow Dash. The Comedian is removed from play, replaced by Shredder. Kabuto becomes a power house for the Automatons, landing three touchdowns.
4th: After a brief timeout, Bulk moves Oliver to Quarterback. Oliver's tactical skills finally seem to stem the advantage of Connor, and he is able to rely on the amazing late bloomer Kabuto to land guaranteed scores every possession. However, the Automatons defense can not stop the Phoenixes from doing the same. The quarter becomes a back and forth situation of successful possessions. With a few minutes left, and the score nearly tied, Shredder goes Super Shredder and takes out Oliver while Duncan scores. Ash comes into play, but Kabuto steals the show goes for a running play to try to rally but is ruined by his own teammate when Shepard falls apart and fails to block, opening up Kabuto from multiple sides. Kabuto is injured and fumbles, allowing Dean to carry the final score of the game.

RESULT: PZP 103 - AGA 95

Automatons vs. Eels

The Angel Grove Automatons vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels
@ The Juice & Gym Gymnasium
CONFERENCE QUALIFIERS

Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive
Kickoff: Kimberly kicks to Ash who has to catch them all, who manages to avoid Frodo's tackle only to be taken down at the Eels 25YL by Bean.
1st Half: Unfortunately, his luck runs out when Bean is taken out by Japanese Spiderman in his weakest stat form in the first quarter to be replaced by Mario. The Automatons partake in a series of strong passing plays landing some points before Gimli takes out Megatron (probably took his allspark as a new precious. I don't really want to speculate on how he did it or else Bay might read it and make a damn movie about it). A Xenomorph replaces Megatron and manages revenge easily, and Gimli is replaced by Rita Repulsa. Rita and Tommy Oliver are old friends (from his "Green Period" of experimentation in school), and know each other well. The rest of the half becomes a stalemate.
2nd Half: Mario tweaks out to grab a touchdown quick and put the Eels in the lead, which begins what looks to be a good rally until fortune turns on them as Kabuto becomes a power player. The defense just can't seem to nail him down. It is a good thing as well because he gives the Automatons just enough of a lead that when Shepard loses his shit in the last few minutes the Eels can only rally so much of it back.

RESULT: AGA 44 - GBSE 41

Automatons vs. Browncoats

The Angel Grove Automatons vs. The Big Damn Browncoats

@ Serenity Valley Stadium
Coin Toss: Browncoats win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ichigo kicks, Mysterio catches. Mysterio takes a long drive and scores. Try successful.
1st: Krueger injures Stark. the stars align correctly and Quarterback Cthulhu replaces Stark. Buffy defects to the Automatons after falling for Krueger. Ripster and Xenomorph injure Jon Snow who is replaced by Scruffy the Janitor. After all the back and forth, no additional points are scored this quarter.
2nd: Scruffy is immediately injured by Ripster, but comes back as Zombie Scruffy and continues to perform his duties. Shepard and Cthulhu size each other up in a series of 7 turnovers, followed by multiple touchdowns for both teams.
3rd: In a surprising move, Stan Lee replaces Kabuto. Combining their tactical might, the Automatons finally begin to make a dent in the Browncoats' lead and succesfully block Cthulhu's advances until Lee is killed in what may be a hate crime by Scruffy. Kabuto returns.
4th: Without another tactical aid, Shepard starts to lose ground to Cthulhu. In the final minutes, he actually breaks down and any hope for a last rally are lost.

RESULT:AGA 19 - BDB 35



Aberrations vs. Automatons

The Asgardian Aberrations vs. The Angel Grove Automatons

@ The Gym & Juice Gymnasium

Coin Toss: Automatons win, will receive
Kickoff: Megaman kicks entire length of field. Ash catches but is immediately overran by Aragorn. Immediate Safety.
1st Quarter Synopsis: Jesus lands a pass to Charles Barkley who does a heroic run for what looks to be an immediate touchdown as well but is brought down by Krueger right at the endzone. Jesus is injured in the following blitz play but not before a handoff to Aslan for a touchdown. Data replaces Jesus. The try is successful.
2nd Quarter Synopsis: The Automatons repeatedly attempt to rally but are kept at bay by Gorilla Grodd who also manages two interceptions. However, Krueger injures Barkley (replaced by Ricky Bobby) early on and ruins Data's passing game. No points are scored this quarter.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: Ich kicksoff to Tails who manages to get near the 50. Data shows his tactical genius by using the false sense of permanent passing to switch to a run play to Aragorn for a TD. The try is successful. Rainbow Dash finally breaks past Gorilla Grodd for a Touchdown. Ultimate Warrior manages to slip past an angry Grodd who is busy injuring Rainbow Dash to secure a 2 pt try. Rainbow Dash is replaced by Megatron.
4th Quarter Synopsis: A battle of titans. Megatron manages a TD but the try fails, and Grodd manages to injure Ash Ketchum, The Ultimate Warrior, and the Xenomorph before being removed from play by the refs. Grodd is replaced by Wolverine. Sheppard, Lee, and Tommy Oliver step into play in the final minutes. Wolverine is removed from play after one game for injuring team mate Stan Lee and also stealing the ball though not a legal carrier. The team is fined a few yards. Japanese Spiderman replaced Wolverine. Jesus Christ returns to play leading to a touchdown performance by Aragorn again but the try is blocked. After the game ends, a total free for all fight breaks out.

RESULT: AA 22 - AGA 14