OGREs Developmental League

OGREs Developmental League
Fantasy Football Done Right.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Week 7 Synopsis

Commissioner's Note: A ton of this weeks games are just one sided. The fact is a ton of the rookie teams just don't stack. Don't fret rookies - you'll get there. Look at Marcus. He won one! Anyway, to save time until the "important" games (i.e. inter-conference one-offs and then the playoffs - which will all receive quarter-by-quarter synopsis no matter how one-sided) we are just compiling the rest of the game results here. The same *might* happen next week, but as mentioned above the practice will revert once we're into important games. We're just so far into heats now that most players can predict their results. The first two games for this week were already posted.

Note: Yes, we know the write ups are the most fun part. Consider this two week break during last heats a way for the kinktrollers and commissioner to recharge their batteries to deliver a fistful of awesome during playoffs and challenges. Also note that there will be a post next week after the games are posted that will list how many MVPoints each player has. You must declare intent to use these to the commissioner if you want to use them during interconference games. They will be automatically used for you in playoffs if losing. If winning, they will stay unless you declare otherwise for the next game. This post will also go into details on exactly what the points can and can not do.

Impalers vs. Mustangs 27-6
Mashers vs. Hippie Punchers 33-30
Dragons vs. Guardians 18 - 42
Slayers vs. Aberrations 0 - 88
Coalition vs. Miners 39 - 6
Sentinels vs. Leviathans 27-21
Spartans vs. Assassins 18 - 12
Steamies vs. Explorers 13 - 27
Pandas vs Mutants 30 - 7
Cyberbrains vs. MIA 27 - 94
Automatons vs Grenades 28-27
Mercs vs Doctors 33 - 15
Spacies vs. Lycanthropes 56 - 42
Team America vs. Stereotypes 41 - 67

Briefs vs. Eels

The Bikini Bottom Briefs
vs.
The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels
@ High Tide Stadium



Paragon Percentage: Picard will enter play
Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive
Kickoff: Squirrel Girl kicks to KITT, who makes a large gain before being taken down by Silver Surfer.
Game Synopsis: Well, that  was what some would call a massacre.

RIP SARUMAN

Result: BBB 3 - GBSE 101

Browncoats vs. Knights

The Big Damn Browncoats
vs.
The Gotham Knights
@ Wayne Memorial Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.
Coin Toss: Browncoats win, will receive.
Kickoff: Brak kicks to Frozone, who outruns Jesus Christ for a long gain before being taken down by Raze.
Game Synopsis: The Browncoats bring their A game, and the Knights may have as well but it doesn't even compare. By midway through the second quarter, the stadium begins to empty.

Result: BDB 67 - GK 12


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Team America vs. Mercs

The Freedom City Stars & Stripes
vs
The Mandalorian Mercs
@ All-American Astrodome

Paragon Percentage: Sauron will enter play
Coin Toss: Mercs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Santa Claus kicks to Bean, who makes a short gain before being taken down by Robocop.
Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Mercs keep Team America at bay.

Result: FCS&S 14 - MM 33

Automatons vs Lycanthropes

The Mithril Automatons
vs.
The Lankhmar Lycanthropes
@ Tuatha de Danaan

Paragon Percentage: Wonder Woman will enter play.
Coin Toss: Lycans win, will receive
Kickoff: Zapp kicks to Xena, who escapes a few tackle attempts to make a large gain before being brought down by Saber.
Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Lycans slowly pull ahead though its still a tough match. No major highlights to report of.

Result: MA 27 - LL 45

Spartans vs Explorers

The Requiem Spartans vs The Enterprise Explorers
@ Memory Alpha Astrodome

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.
Coin Toss: Spartans win, will receive
Kickoff: Lord Voldemort kicks to Spy, who sneaks by the Explorers for a quick touchdown.
Synopsis: The score stays close until the middle of the second quarter when the Nazgul injures Green Arrow. Already at a tactical disadvantage, the Spartans fall behind and fail to catch up. Highlights include the Balrog and King Kong in a pissing contest on the sidelines about who is bigger.

Result: RS 33 - EE 47

Doctors vs Mutants

The DHARMA Doctors
vs.
The Morbus Mutants
@ The Technodrome
 Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play
Coin Toss: Mutants win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ghost Rider kicks to Lord Zed who is taken down after barely any gain by Ben Hawkins.
Synopsis: In what may be the most boring, slow paces game in HFFL history, the doctors manage to get a lead solely because Hawkins and Crowe take far too long to put their plans into motion for a comeback.
Result: MM 9 - DD 15

Grenades vs Pandas

The Atlus Rocket Propelled Grenades
vs.
The Sexual Harassment Pandas
@ The Rooftop of Junes
 Paragon Percentage: Both Sherlock Holmes and Mario will enter play.
Coin Toss: Pandas win, will receive.
Kickoff: Walter kicks to Marty, who manages to glitch out and time travel to the exact same time but a few feet away to avoid a tackle and get the first touchdown.
Synopsis: With both paragons in play, the teams gridlock for a while. Finally, thinking he is smart - Sherlock gives Mario a Star and gets him high. But Mario also slips Sherlock some heroine. Now the two paragons are tripping and useless. The Grenades manage to squeak by.

Result: ARPG 21 - SHP 20

Assassins vs Cyberbrains

The Asshai Assassins
vs.
The Chiba Cyberbrains
@ Saffron Straits Stadium 

 Paragon Percentage: Krusk will enter play.
Coin Toss: Cyberbrains win, will receive.
Kickoff: Tyrion kicks to Hulk Hogan, who spends more time taunting than running so there is no gain when he is taken down.
Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Cyberbrains make light work of the Assassins.


Result: AA 21 - CC 39

Spacies vs Steamies

They Came From Outer Space!
vs.
The Sodor Steamies
@ Suddery Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.
Coin Toss: Steamies win, will receive.
Kickoff: Eragon kicks to Gorilla Grodd, who drives long but is stopped and injured by Predator who is also injured.
Synopsis: With Grodd out so early, the Steamies lose their strongest player. Raistlin tries to route his players only to be injured as well. Once that happens, the Spacies easily manage to bypass the second-string Steamies.

Result: TCFOS 27 - SS 15

MIA vs Stereotypes

The Alderaan MIA
vs.
The Statistically Valid Stereotypes
@ The Graveyard Astrodome

Paragon Percentage: Master Chief will enter play
Coin Toss: Stereotypes win, will receive
Kickoff: Bruenor kicks to Gray Mouser who manages to avoid three attempted tackles for a return touchdown.
Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Stereotypes make light work of the MIA.

Result: AMIA 33 - SVS 73

Knights vs Impalers

The Gotham Knights
vs.
The Immortal Impalers
@ Hunyard Castle


Paragon Percentage: No paragon will enter play.
Coin Toss: Knights win, will receive.
Kickoff: Gimli kicks to Raze, who makes a strong gain but is taken down by Duncan MacLeod.
Game Synopsis: Raze manages to continue to strive to beat the Gotham Curse and get his team a win, but the Impalers don't have any time for that.

Result: GK 12 - II 33

Leviathans vs Eels

The Innsmouth Leviathans
vs.
The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels
@ R'lyeh Municipal Field


Paragon Percentage: Jean-Luc will enter play
Coin Toss: Leviathans win, will receive.
Kick off: Squirrel Girl kicks to Throttle, who makes a fast large gain avoiding Scout and Zach for a touchdown.
Synopsis: Despite the strong start, the Eels with Jean-Luc in charge are just too strong to stop. Highlights include Kratos taking out an endless supply of Xtacles, and Zach Morris freezing time and moving Michael Myers around but no one really noticing.

Result: IL 27 - GBSE 51

Sentinels vs Hippie Punchers

The Cybertron Sentinels
vs.
The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers
@ Mann Manor
 Paragon Percentage: Han Solo will enter play.
Coin Toss: Sentinels win, will receive.
Kickoff: Pyro kicks to Beorn, who avoids Carnage but is taken down by Casey Jones.
Entire Game Synopsis: This game was stopped in the late third quarter. Had it continued, the Hippie Punchers would have overtaken the Sentinels because there was basically no one left for either team to field. Han managed to keep the Sentinels scoring while the Punchers consistently injured more and more of his guys, though Han was able to avoid some tactics that Jim Gordon used by slightly going left.

Result: CS 45 - MCHP 39

Mashers vs Guardians

The Margathean Mashers
vs.
The Cosmo Canyon Guardians
@ Total Perspective Vortex Arena

Paragon Percentage: No paragon will enter play
Coin Toss: Mashers win, will receive
Kickoff: Goku kicks to Neil Patrick Harris, who clears an attempted tackle by Joe Swanson but is taken down by Aragorn.
Entire Game Synopsis: Skeletor and Spider Jerusalem realize early on that they've got a pretty good tight match here. Both teams have solid running games, and some decent passing options. The Mashers manage to pull ahead first with the combined increased skillset of the Hitchhikers. The Guardians don't trail too much with the light defense that the Mashers have. As the game continues the score gets close but the Guardians unfortunately miss a last-second field goal when Godzilla (filling in for an injured Goku) kicks wide. This would have tied the game and sent it into overtime.

Result: MM 32 - CCG 30

Coalition vs Mustangs

The Central City Coalition
vs.
The Manehatten Mustangs
@ Wonderbolt Stadium


 Paragon Percentage: The Hulk will enter play.
Coin Toss: Mustangs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lee kicks to Ana Steele, who is brutally sacked by Sinestro.
Entire Game Synopsis:  This sums it up:  RIP Sean Angus "Sam" Malloy - son of Angus MacGyver.

Result: CCC 66 - MM 3


Briefs vs Miners

The Bikini Bottom Briefs
vs.
The Morian Miners
@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Blackstaff will enter play
Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lohan kicks long to Machete who is taken down by Carl Johnson after a short gain.
Entire Game Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Briefs gain and keep a nice lead that the Miners can't compete, easily beating the still-winless Miners.

Result: BBB 31 - MM 17

Slayers vs Browncoats

The Sunnydale Slayers
vs.
The Big Damn Browncoats
@ Wolfram & Hart Community Center



Paragon Percentage: River Tam will enter play
Coin Toss: Slayers win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ichigo kicks off Tony the Tiger, who is frozen by Frozone and then melted down to nothing by Bowser.
Entire Game Synopsis: Lets just sum this up right here:


RIP ANTONIO
YOU WERE GREEEAAAATTT

Result: BDB 61 - SS 9

Dragons vs Aberrations

The Westeros Three-Headed Dragons
vs.
The Asgardian Aberrations
@ The Dragon Pit


 Paragon Percentage: No paragon will enter play
Coin Toss: Aberrations win, will receive.
Kickoff: Admiral Abstinence kicks off to Brienne of Tarth, who squares off against Gregor Clegane and is taken down after a short gain.
Entire Game Synopsis: The Aberrations manage to pull ahead and stay ahead fairly early on. Lobo manages to hold back most of the Dragons attempts, while the Asgardians easily bypass the Dragon defense. Highlights include Gregor Clegane being thrown out but no ref going near him to actually throw him out, and Goro stealing Dragonite Charles Barkley's special move.

Result: WTHD 17 - AA 56


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Week 5 Game Results for Games 3-16

Note from the commissioner: Late into Saturday we had an error, and we've been trying to correct it since. We have the results of the games but will not see the readouts for a bit. We're well on the way to completely correcting the problem but unfortunately will not be able to give highlights for the rest of the games this week. This is because we enter all the games and see the computer generated results, we then go through each one with the Kinktrollers and see what we should change and as a result re-input the rest of the game. The software glitched bad and crashed while doing the report this week, and our only viable option to fix has been to reinstall and now manually enter the entire roster for every team all over again. Looking at the games that we were not able to do kinks for, we're still pretty confident in the outcomes based on team rankings and history. We will have in depth results again next week, and you can see the first two games below this post.

However, we do have the results, which are:

Guardians beat Sentinels 21-18

Leviathans beat Knights 69-7

Eels beat Impalers 33-21

Hippie Punchers beat Mustangs 12-0

Mashers beat Miners 21-7

Dragons beat the Slayers 39-13

Spacies beat MIA 47-41

Stereotypes beat Steamies 19-6

Grenades beat Assassins 41-22

Pandas beat Cyberbrains 69-13

Doctors beat Spartans 41-19

Explorers beat Mutants 27-0

Automatons beat Team America 36-30

Lycanthropes beat Mercs 33-32

Briefs vs Coalition

The Bikini Bottom Briefs
vs.
The Central City Coalition
@ High Tide Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: The Hulk will enter play.
Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.
Kick off: Lee kicks to Tordek, who is immediately injured by Bizarro.
Synopsis: By about a minute into the second quarter, the Briefs are entirely injured except for Hartigan. The refs call the game as a sign of mercy.

Result: BBB 3 - CCC 47


Aberrations vs Browncoats

The Asgardian Aberrations
vs
The Big Damn Browncoats
@ Serenity Valley Stadium
 Paragon Percentage: River Tam will enter play.

Coin Toss: Browncoats win, will receive.
Kick off: GIR kicks to Frozone, who outruns Lobo for an immediate touchdown.
First: With River on defense, the two teams gridlock early in the game. Lobo manages to easily block the few who can outrun, while River manages to keep Hawkeye from having open men. Finally a lateral play with Legolas allows the Aberrations to even the scoreboard. But this is quickly bypassed when Dovahkiin uses his Thu'um to incapacitate Lobo, and the Browncoats score again.
Second: Gromph takes out Lobo for a play allowing Frog to score, but the temporary effect wears off and Lobo is back. Donatello also returns to play after taking time to repair GIR. Again a Thu'um sends Lobo away so the Browncoats can hit the endzone. Trailing, the Aberrations receive a literal break when Brienne gets a lucky strike on River, sending the paragon out of play.
Second Half: The phenomenally strong start of the Browncoats fades away without the strong defense offered by River. A few kink and tricks keep them hitting the endzone a couple times, but the Aberrations have enough time to catch up and take over the lead.

Result: AA 41 - BDB 36

Sunday, March 10, 2013

MIA vs Cyberbrains

The Alderaan MIA vs. The Chiba Cyberbrains
@ The Graveyard Astrodome

 Paragon Percentage: Luke Skywalker will enter play.
Coin Toss: Cyberbrains win, will receive.
Kickoff: Bruenor kicks long to Chris Benoit, who immediately loses his shit and fights his way through for a touchdown - injuring himself, Mr. Fantastic, and Eric Duckman.
Entire Game Synopsis: After the initial success during kickoff, the MIA lock down their end zone and don't allow anyone to threaten it again. They know what its like to lose their home. Luke relies heavily on Sonic and oddly - the Joker - for a blow out game. Major highlight is Sonic using a stolen Dr. Robotnik Rebotisizer to bring the Cylons back.
Result: AMIA 48 - CC 6

Stereotypes vs Spacies

The Statistically Validated Stereotypes
vs.
They Came From Outer Space!
@ Prometheus

 Paragon Percentage: Team Captain James T. Kirk will enter play against the stereotypes.

Coin Toss: Spacies win, will receive.
Kickoff: Iron Man kicks long to Predator, who activates his stealth mode and gets around for a touchdown while Duke Nukem takes out Ricky Bobby.
Entire Game Synopsis: The Stereotypes start strong by avenging Ricky, but by the third their entire fast team of runners are out thanks to Kirk's fighting prowess the team can't compete against the first string Spacies and their paragon.


(Kirks fighting prowess, shown above)



Result: SVS 33 - TCFOS! 61

Pandas vs Steamies

The Sexual Harassment Pandas
vs.
The Sodor Steamies
@ Suddery Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: Mario will enter play.
Coin Toss: Steamies win, will receive.
Kickoff: Luigi kicks to Gorilla Grodd, who is beaten by that infamous ape-hater Mario on the 50 yard line.
Entire Game Synopsis: Gorilla Grodd and Raistlin do all they can early on to stop a roll over, but when Samurai Jack and Rocky Balboa injure those two in the second, all bets are off. Mario and Luigi team up to see how high they can take the score.

Result: SHP 103 - SS 21