Briefs vs. Eels

The Bikini Bottom Briefs

vs.

The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels

@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Picard will enter play

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive

Kickoff: Squirrel Girl kicks to KITT, who makes a large gain before being taken down by Silver Surfer.

Game Synopsis: Well, that  was what some would call a massacre.

RIP SARUMAN

Result: BBB 3 - GBSE 101

Briefs vs Miners

The Bikini Bottom Briefs

vs.

The Morian Miners

@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Blackstaff will enter play

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.

Kickoff: Lohan kicks long to Machete who is taken down by Carl Johnson after a short gain.

Entire Game Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Briefs gain and keep a nice lead that the Miners can't compete, easily beating the still-winless Miners.

Result: BBB 31 - MM 17

Briefs vs Coalition

The Bikini Bottom Briefs

vs.

The Central City Coalition

@ High Tide Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: The Hulk will enter play.

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.

Kick off: Lee kicks to Tordek, who is immediately injured by Bizarro.

Synopsis: By about a minute into the second quarter, the Briefs are entirely injured except for Hartigan. The refs call the game as a sign of mercy.

Result: BBB 3 - CCC 47



Dragons vs Briefs

The Westeros Three-Headed Dragons

vs.

The Bikini Bottom Briefs

@ High Tide Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: Eddard Stark will enter play.

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.

Kickoff: Admiral Abstinence kicks to Bart Simpson, who skates around Jon Snow only to be brutally tackled by Gregor Clegane.

Entire Game Synopsis: Remember that time that you got beat up as a kid and your lunch money taken by that big bully? No? Because its an American cinema cliche that rarely actually happens? Yeah, well it happened here. Except Gregor took blood, not money.

Result: WT-HD 60 - BBB 9

Mustangs vs. Briefs

The Manehatten Mustangs vs. The Bikini Bottom Briefs

@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Khelben "Blackstaff" Arunsun will enter play.

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.

Kick off: Bella Swan clumsily kicks the ball to Machete Cortez, who is taken down by MacGyver's son who proceeds to take out the vengeance of a fatherless son on him.

Entire Game Synopsis: Though MacGyver's son tries his best to lead the Mustangs, he just can't beat the Briefs with Blackstaff. Highlights: Saruman and Blackstaff comparing notes.

Result: MM 21 - BBB 48

Briefs vs. Guardians

The Bikini Bottom Briefs vs. The Cosmo Canyon Guardians

@ Fallen Star Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Link will be assisting the Guardians on the field.
Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Goku kicks to Machete Cortez. Machete carries but is more interested in tackling than gaining yardage, and is brought down after a very short gain by Aragorn.

First Quarter: The Briefs receive their first of several devestating blows (ha, briefs...blows...ha) when Jaina Proudmoore sacks and injures Saruman. This begins a progressive series of sacks that sees the team run out of quarterbacks by emptying their bench by the quarters end. Though Jaina is judged to have not been overly aggressive, she opts to remove herself as a token of sportsmanship but it is for nothing when she is replaced by Godzilla - who could care less about hurting people. The refs agree to allow the game to continue if the Guardians will remove their quarterback. As a result Link moves to Flex and Obi-Wan leaves the field.

Second Quarter: The referee's allowance lasts about four minutes into the second quarter when Godzilla takes out two more Briefs. The game is shut down and the Guardians receive a victory by default.

Result: BBB 7 - CCG 15

Briefs vs. Eels

The Bikini Bottom Briefs vs. The Guilder Bay Shrieking Eels

@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Jean-Luc Picard enters the field of play!
Coin Toss: The Briefs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Squirrel Girl kicks to Machete Cortez. Hooper and the Xtacles down Machete mere inches from a kickoff touchdown. An extremely pissed off Machete begins attacking members of the Xtacles, causing a riot that sees the benches empty and aid come from both sides.

Machete is removed from play while his teammate Sam Merlotte takes his place, and an injured Grima Wormtongue is wheeled away as Demoman comes out from his extremely short Picard break. Now, lets play some football. Please?

First Quarter: With the game starting so close to his endzone, Picard makes it clear that the Briefs may come this far but no father. Hooper and the Xtacles agree and sack Saruman, injuring him. Elminster enters play to attempt the touchdown at the 2 yard line on the fourth down and is injured by a member of the Xtacles, fumbling the ball in the process. An xtacle takes possession and runs a 98 yard touchdown. Squirrel Girl hilariously fails at the try however. Third string quarterback Professor Hinkley comes out to try to turn things around for the Briefs. Bart manages to distract the referees long enough to allow Hinkley and KITT to work together to bypass the Xtacles for a long drive to the endzone. The hope is dashed quickly when the kick try is blocked for a turnover and another long drive giving the Xtacles another touchdown. They might as well be playing offense. Squirrel Girl pulls off the try successfully this time.

Second Quarter: Any hope for a rally is dashed when Demoman takes out the Goombas, leading to Krumm trying to defend against the speed of Scout - coupled with the Xtacles stealing Professor Hinkley's coconut, giving them even better tactical might. The rest of the quarter is spent watching the Eels basically field two offensive lines, with touchdowns and turnovers galore.
Third Quarter: Spongebob manages a lucky touchdown early on and gets the two point conversion right afterwards. Not long afterward Hartigan sacrifices for Krumm and KITT allows Krumm to drive him, allowing Krumm to slow the onslaught of touchdowns. But even without allowing the team to score, Hinkley can't get past the beefed up, well, coconutted up Hooper and Xtacles.
Fourth Quarter: This round comes to an early end when the Xtacles injure Hinkley, Jozan, and Tordek - limiting the available players that the Briefs can field. The credits roll while Demoman performs the New Tweeter Endzone dance.

Result: BBB 14 - GBSE 47