Briefs vs Miners

The Bikini Bottom Briefs

vs.

The Morian Miners

@ High Tide Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Blackstaff will enter play

Coin Toss: Briefs win, will receive.

Kickoff: Lohan kicks long to Machete who is taken down by Carl Johnson after a short gain.

Entire Game Synopsis: With their paragon in play, the Briefs gain and keep a nice lead that the Miners can't compete, easily beating the still-winless Miners.

Result: BBB 31 - MM 17

Coalition vs Mashers

The Central City Coalition

vs.

The Margathean Mashers

@ Total Perspective Vortex Arena

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mashers win, will receive.

Kickoff: Stan Lee kicks to midfield and after a scramble Neil Patrick Harris picks it up, and a quick wink at Storm convinces her not to tackle him. Neil keeps avoiding The Flash until Bizarro takes him down after a long gain.

First: Skeletor and Panthor deliver a pass to Space Ghost, who is charmed by a kidd from Poison Ivy and fumbles the ball to her. However Poison Ivy is tackled hard by Trillian without gaining any yardage. The Coalition offense comes in and Deadpool hands off to The Flash who vibrates through The Warriors for a touchdown. Lee attempts a extra point try but is unsuccessful. The Mashers gain the ball and Marvin depresses Poison Ivy with a tale of how all plant life on earth is dying allowing Trillian to score a touchdown. However his depressed ways quickly turn against the team when he fails to catch the conversion attempt.
Second: The Coalition carries and are instantly successful when Ambush Bug receives the hand off and ports to the end zone. The Flash vibrates through the Warriors defensive line again for the conversion. The Mashers team up and maneuver quickly around Poison Ivy to score on their third down and Ford succeeds on the try. Deadpool regains the offense and attempts a pass to The Tick but Sinestro tries for it himself, causing a fumble that is picked up by Ajax of The Warriors who avoids The Flash and Deadpool only to get gridlocked by Bizarro, causing a sudden brawl in the midfield. By the time the refs have cleared the way, time runs out before the Mashers can make a move with their sudden possesion.

Third:  The first half of the quarter is a bore until by accident Bizarro runs the wrong play and ends up tackled in his own end zone, giving a safety to the Mashers. The Flash retaliates with a quick touchdown and a conversion but the advance isn't much when Zaphod and Trillian manage to fake out Poison and allow Arthur to score.

Fourth: Neil Patrick Harris manages to charm Poison Ivy and get by her for an early touchdown but she comes around and blocks him from the conversion. The Warriors finally find a way to prevent The Flash from vibrating through the use of sound waves (specifically glass bottles) and injure him early on. Solomon Grundy comes out to replace him. The Coalition is much slower without Allen but still aggressive, finally getting to the end zone after several down resets. The try fails and the clock runs out shortly afterwards during the Mashers offense.

Result: CCC 28 - MM 27

Browncoats vs Miners

The Big Damn Browncoats vs. The Morian Miners

@ Serenty Valley Stadium

 Paragon Percentage: River Tam will enter play

Coin Toss: Miners win, will receive.

Kickoff: Ichigo kicks to Merry, who avoids Quartermain but is tackled by Edgar Frog

Entire Game Synopsis: Blowout game. The Miners trailed horribly, and with River in play the entire match is one-sided. Highlight of the game is Bowser kidnapping Lohan but no one came to rescue her.

Result: BDB 61 - MM 13

Aberrations vs. Mashers

The Asgardian Aberrations

vs.

The Margathean Mashers

@ Wayne Memorial Stadium

The Gotham Knights graciously agreed to host tonight's game so that the Aberrations would not have long travel the night before after attending the Bruce Wayne/Batman funeral. Mr. Wayne died a brutal death during the Aberrations last game at the hands of Mann Co. employee Turin Turambar. In remembrance, they have altered their jerseys and helmets this week.

Paragon Percentage: Batman will enter pl....ehhh, no he won't. Ooops.

Coin Toss: Aberrations win, will receive.

Kickoff: Ford Prefect kicks to the midfield where after a scramble Goro picks it up, leading a large charge and dodging three tackle attempts to enter the end zone.

First: Skeletor attempts a few running plays to get around Lobo before realizing that its rarely possible with the carriers he has in play. On the fourth he brings out Ford for a kick just to give his defense a chance. The Aberration offense takes the field. A shrouded figure can be seen in their entry hall but can not be made out clearly. Donatello leaves the field and begins working on GIR on the sidelines. Hawkeye lands a pass to Goro who is severly injured by the Warriors as he marches through them. He scores, and Ouka takes his injuries over. Simba, seeing the injured Ouka, leaves the bench and heads to the back. A completely changed GIR comes out for the kick and nails it.

Second:  Skeletor and Panthor have Neil use his charms to wink at the sideline, seducing X-23. Space Ghost tries to laser beam Lobo which just serves to humor him. However the outnumbering with Panthor allows them to simply maneuver around Lobo finally once when they learn to perform that trick. Panthor scores for the Mashers, but Lobo is wisened to the scheme and the try fails.

Third: Brienne injures Trillian and Skeletor in one play, and is replaced by a returned Simba who looks renewed. He lines up for the same team that Aslan did a year ago, and many fans have signage that includes what appears to be a mindflayer-inflicted lion. The team pulls the 'Crime Alley Blitz' with Simba dropping back defended by Goro and Venom, who take the fall and allow Simba to excel himself over their tackled momentum and into a life of vengeancethe endzone. Cheech and Chong come in for the Mashers but may be too high to care, and Zaphod seems even crazier without Trillian around. In an odd twist, a depressing Marvin is talking on the sidelines to Donatello is trying to fix him. It works, but not before Don is made so sad he quits the game - resulting in a happy more improved Marvin who isn't reprogrammed fully and continused to play for the Mashers. He gets a touchdown when Lobo doesn't realize that he isn't going to do what hes done the whole game - sit and sulk.

Fourth: The Cowardly Lion finally has the courage and self-confidence to enter play, taking over for Venom who fills in Donatello's former spot. Along with Simba, this prideful offensive line dominates the Mashers - pulling away and cementing their victory in memory of Batman. However, the Mashers get an odd touchdown with seconds left when out-of-nowhere The Hulk and Ellen Ripley crash through the side of Wayne Memorial Stadium and Simba to fumble when they roll over the team, allowing the Mashers to pick up the ball and score. The event is so bizarre the refs aren't sure how to rule on it, but they let the Mashers keep the TD since they were trailing so far.

Result: AA 47 - MM 18

Miners vs. Dragons

The Morian Miners

vs.

The Westeros Three-Headed Dragons

@ Forge Field

Paragon Percentage: Neither Paragon will enter play

Coin Toss: Dragons win, will receive

Kickoff: Lohan kicks long to Charles Barkley, who laterals to Gregor for an immediate touchdown.

Entire Game Synopsis: Let me sum this entire game up with one damn photo:

Result: MM 13 - WTHD 21

Impalers vs. Miners

The Immortal Impalers vs. The Morian Miners

@ The Hunyard Castle Gardens

 Paragon Percentage: Gandalf will enter play.

Coin Toss: Miners win, will receive

Kickoff: Gimli sends it in long to Merry Brandybuck, and the game begins with Merry taking a knee to avoid a tackle by Duncan MacLeod.

Entire Game Synopsis: The Miners learn quick who is in control of this game when Gandalf makes it clear that Dumbledore will not be allowed to perform any passes. Relying on a running game, Carl Johnson and Merry become Albus' and though they are able to get by the light defense of the Immortals, their own defense is where the fault really lies. The Impalers err, Impale, the Miners.

Result: II 63 - MM 13

Coalition vs. Miners

The Central City Coalition vs. The Morian Miners

@ The Forge Field

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play

Coin Toss: Miners win, will receive

Kick Off: Sinestro manages a long pass to the hobbit Merry who is almost immediately taken down right at the 1 yard line by The Flash. However his entwater height causes him to fall back into the endzone, giving the coalition a safety.

First Quarter: The first quarter goes by fast as Dumbledore does everything in his power to try to hold back the impressive onslaught of the Coalition. He finally finds a plan and distracts refs as Carl Johnson takes out Snapper Carr and Stan Lee, resulting in an immediate measurable downgrade of the Coalition's on-field prowess.

Second Quarter: Even without Lee and Carr the Coalition, under The Flash's guidance, manages to consistently drive down the field. But Carl, Merry, and Thrall seem to be repeating the same for the Miners as they easily bypass O.G.R.E. By the end of the first half the score has been nearly leveled with the Coalition up by 2.

Third Quarter: Deadpool injures Azog but Azog returns the favor, even though Deadpool comes right back. The two are removed from play but don't seem to notice as they continue to fight it out in the entry tunnel. Solomon Grundy and William Riker replace them. Ambush Bug slips around the Miners for an easy touchdown, but Bilbo has the ref in his pocket and gets the play nullified. When they attempt a repeat Robin manages to manipulate for Bregan D'aerthe to intercept. Once the offense takes the field, Thrall manages to touchdown to put the Miners in the lead for the first time in the game.

Fourth Quarter: The teams manage to prevent extra tries, but keep exchanging touchdowns. Trailing by 2 and with moments left on the clock, the Coalition fields Sinestro who manages a field goal to give the team the win.

Result: CCC 63 - MM - 62