Aberrations vs. Phoenixes

 The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs The Asgardian Abberations
 @ The Gondor Gridiron

Coin Toss: Phoenixes win, will receive.
Kick Off: Megaman launches long, Spiderman catches, taken down by Aragorn at PZP35YL.
1st Quarter: The first quarter is a shut out as the Phoenixes try and fail to get around Grodd's defenses while the Aberrations rely on Aragorn who manages to bypass Optimus Prime consistently. Finally towards the end of the quarter Connor manages to realize Grodd's weakness and taunts him into ignoring the play and coming after him. Grodd brutally beats Connor to death and is removed from play, but Connor comes back to life for the next quarter. Though this removes the biggest roadblock to an even game, it comes extremely late as the Aberrations have pulled far ahead in the first quarter.
2nd Quarter: In a brutal first play, Wolverine correctly (we assume - he was probably just seeing if it would work) takes out Connor and Duncan by beheading. Though he is removed from play afterwards, and the distraction allowed the Phoenixes to score, it decimates their offensive team. Storm replaces Wolverine while the Phoenixes bring out Hellboy and Shredder. The lessened defensive effectiveness of both sides results in more scoring, with Aragorn consistently leading the running game while Spiderman and Jason Bourne tag off. The Comedian attempts to solve the team's troubles by taking out Aragorn, but learns that he will suffer his running game. The Comedian is injured and replaced by Dean Winchester, while Aragorn is only slightly injured but carries on.
3rd Quarter: Through an amazing lateral play, Jesus passes to Aragorn - who while slightly injured, decides its best to lateral to Barkley who laterals to Aslan who begisn taking over the running game for the Aberrations. Throughout the quarter, to make matters worse, Storm manages to injure out Hellboy, Shredder, Spiderman, and Bourne - who are replaced by Rocky Douglas, Madea, Zatch, and Optimus Prime is forced to play offense as well as the bench is empty.
4th Quarter: Outside a couple last ditch efforts to rally by Dean, the Phoenixes can't close the gap. Riddick and Dean do manage to take out Jesus and Aslan in the final moments, but its too late to turn the tide.

RESULTS: AA 81 - PZP 33

Phoenixes vs. Automatons

The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs The Angel Grove Automatons

@ The Juice & Gym Gymnasium

Toss: Phoenixes win, will receive.
Kickoff: Ichigo kicks, Spiderman catches, avoids Japanese Spiderman and manages a return touchdown.
1st: Optimus Prime is able to just barely stop the Automatons, causing a turnover on a fourth down. Japanese Spiderman is not able to prevent the Phoenixes at first. Finally, he brings in his gun and giant robot and takes out Duncan MacLeod. Duncan is replaced by Hellboy, while Japanese Spiderman is removed from play and replaced by Xenomorph. Towards the end of the quarter, Megatron and Optimus Prime begin to settle their own personal score right in the middle of the field. Both manage to seriously injure each other, while Optimus' preoccupation with Megatron allows the Automatons to score. Dean Winchester replaces Optimus and the Ultimate Warrior replaces Megatron.
2nd: A healed Duncan re-enters play. The Xenomorph manages to injure Connor, who is replaced by Madea. This allows Stan Lee to fight back and close the gap while the tactical might behind the Phoenixes is incapacitated.
3rd: A healed Connor reenters play with the score tied. Dean Winchester runs over and sacks Lee, causing a fumble and gaining possession. Lee is replaced by Krueger, who personally removes himself after one play because its fucking hard to throw a ball with scissorhands. Ripster comes in. The Ultimate Warrior manages to score but is so fatigured afterwards that he has to rest, bringing Romney in as a replacement. Most of the quarter is owned by Connor who lands multiple touchdowns to Duncan and Spiderman. He would have landed one to The Comedian but The Comedian was too busy awkwardly assaulting Rainbow Dash. The Comedian is removed from play, replaced by Shredder. Kabuto becomes a power house for the Automatons, landing three touchdowns.
4th: After a brief timeout, Bulk moves Oliver to Quarterback. Oliver's tactical skills finally seem to stem the advantage of Connor, and he is able to rely on the amazing late bloomer Kabuto to land guaranteed scores every possession. However, the Automatons defense can not stop the Phoenixes from doing the same. The quarter becomes a back and forth situation of successful possessions. With a few minutes left, and the score nearly tied, Shredder goes Super Shredder and takes out Oliver while Duncan scores. Ash comes into play, but Kabuto steals the show goes for a running play to try to rally but is ruined by his own teammate when Shepard falls apart and fails to block, opening up Kabuto from multiple sides. Kabuto is injured and fumbles, allowing Dean to carry the final score of the game.

RESULT: PZP 103 - AGA 95

Headcrabs vs. Phoenixes

The City 17 Fighting Headcrabs vs. The Planet Zeist Phoenixes
@ Seacouver Stadium

CONFERENCE QUALIFIERS
Toss: Headcrabs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lohan kicks, Neo catches, avoids being taken down until the HC 40YL by Optimus Prime.
1st: Demoman manages to launch three successful touchdowns to Neo, who manages to avoid Optimus Prime. Gandalf holds back the Phoenixes mostly, other than a play where Nightcrawler managed to teleport around him for a touchdown. In the final bits of the quarter, The Comedian gets tired of this shit and takes the old man out, allowing another touchdown by Spider-man. Gandalf is replaced by Hulk Hogan, while The Comedian is removed from play and replaced by Optimus Prime, while Hellboy takes over Prime's previous defense duties.
2nd: Though Batman manages to find himself open in nearly every play, Demoman doesn't realize it until well into the quarter. Once he does, he begins a quick series of successful scoring via Batman during the team's possessions. Meanwhile, Spiderman, Bourne, and Duncan each land a touchdown themselves for their team. No tries are successful for either team. Tired of Batman's shit, Hellboy goes beastmode and takes out Batman (by breaking his back) and Demoman (by breaking his spirit [and his back]).
3rd: Bond, back from a quarter with a cheerleader, replaces Demoman while John Carter replaces Batman. Dean Winchester comes in for Hellboy. Carter manages two touchdowns, but the tide turns as the Phoenixes steamroll over Hogan.
4th: Bond leaves with a cheerleader and is replaced by Marvin White, who is immediately ran over by Dean Winchester who carries the fumble for a touchdown. Marvin is replaced by King Arthur, and Dean by Madea. The spy manages two running plays but the clock runs out before the headcrabs can rally back fully.
RESULT: C17FHC 57 - PZP 64

Phoenixes vs. MIA

The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs. The Alderaan MIA
@ The Graveyard Astrodome
CONFERENCE QUALIFIERS

Coin Toss: Phoenixes win, will kick
Kickoff: Lohan launches the entire length of the field to Sonic, who immediately scores.
1st Half: With the speed and reflex that Sonic holds, the MIA take a lead and maintain it until The Comedian ends the "sonic problem." Shredder replaces The Comedian, while Sonic is replaced by Scooby Doo. Connor manages to close the gap of their lead towards half with successful touchdowns to Spidey and Bourne.
2nd Half: Bourne forgets everything and has to be replaced by Hellboy. Vader injures Nightcrawler who is replaced by Dean Winchester. When Blade gets a penalty, his teammate Robocop takes him out for violating the rules. They are replaced by Beavis and Mulder. The Phoenixes manage an amazing series of interceptions and touchdowns when Hellboy goes full Devil followed by Dean driving his car and finally Shredder going Super Shredder. The final play is Riddick telling bad one-liners to Coach Leia about how he is headed to the Underverse and can help the MIAs find their home again. Distracted, the Phoenixes squeak out a victory.

RESULT: PZP 33 - MIA 26

Phoenixes vs. Spartans

The Planet Zeist Phoenixes vs. The Requiem Spartans

@ Seacouver Stadium

Coin Toss: Phoenixes win, will kick.
Kickoff: Lohan launches a fieldlong kick to Predator, who is tackled by Duncan and Spiderman at the RS 45.
1st: Drizzt keeps passing to Godzilla, who manages to create a strong lead until a concentrated effort lead by The Comedian injures Drizzt, Godzilla, and the Predator. The Comedian is replaced by Hellboy, while Michelangelo, Seto, and Rocksteady enter play respectively.
2nd: With major players out, the tide turns and Phoenixes rally and land 9 touchdowns. Legolas does manage to grab 2 more for the Spartans.
3rd: Connor is out for injuries in the first play, replaced by Dean Winchester. Legolas and LaRusso start strong with touchdowns but no trys. But Dean and Hellboy counter on their carries with kinks, resulting in two touchdowns as well. The rest of the quarter becomes a deadlock around the PZP 30.
4th: A repeat of the third quarter except LaRusso manages a second personal touchdown in the last few plays.

RESULT: PZP 81 - RS 64

Explorers vs. Phoenixes

The Enterprise Explorers vs. The Planet Zeist Phoenixes

@ The Memory Alpha Amphitheatre

Coin Toss: PZP wins, will kick
Kickoff: Lohan kicks entire length of field, Potter catches. Brought down by Duncan/Spidey on own 37.
1st Quarter Synopsis: Aquaman passes to Potter who laterals to McClane. McClane runs for first touchdown of game. Try fails. The rest of the quarter is scoreless and a stalemate increasingly close to the 50 until The Comedian manages to injure McClane and Aquaman but is also injured himself in the process. Hellboy replaces The Comedian while The Doctor takes over Aquaman's QB duties and Raphael replaces McClane. In the final seconds of the quarter, Connor connects with Spidey for a touchdown. Try succeeds.
2nd Quarter Synopsis: Before play, Sam Winchester and The Doctor exchange positions. Sam passes to Captain America who runs in for a touchdown followed by a successful two point conversion. Connor responds by connecting to Spidey and Jason Bourne repeatedly who can not be caught by the opposing team. However all his tries fail. In the final try, Picard angrily replaced Sobchak for defense and manages to seriously injure Spiderman and Bourne. They are replaced by Rocky Douglas and Nightcrawler while Dean Winchester takes over for Nightcrawler.
3rd Quarter Synopsis: With the running game of the Phoenixes no longer impossible, the Explorers rally a bit. Captain manages another touchdown but the following try fails. The score stays the same as the team battles around the EE 15 most of the quarter until Chris Benoit goes literally ape shit. Though he injures himself, he manages to succeed on an 85 yard touchdown and a two point conversion. He is replaced by Indiana Jones.
4th Quarter Synopsis: Trailing, Hellboy transforms and easily manages a touchdown and injures Sobchak. Hellboy is fatigued and replaced by Shredder, while Sobchak is replaced by Bebop. The following try fails. Sam and Jean-Luc manage a slow run play that results in a touchdown. On 3rd and 3, Dean and Shredder lose it. Dean drives through Hong Kong Phooey while Supershredder manages a touchdown. Lohan is too drunk to succeed on the kick, and time runs out while the Explorers have possesion.

RESULT: EE 34 - PZP 37