Mercs vs Automatons

The Mandalorian Mercs

vs.

The Mithril Automatons

@ Tuatha de Danaan

Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mercs win, will receive.

Kickoff: Zapp kicks off to Snake Eyes, who slips by Shang Tsung only to be tackled by Kirby.

First: Boba and Iskandar go head to head in a tactical game of football chess as they try to break by the other's defense. Several possesions come and go until Iskandar decides to up the odds and summons his chariot. With that speed the Automatons score and get the conversion. The Mercs come back with a strong passing game but Iskandar's alliance with the Army of the Dead grants them speed that the Mercs can't bypass, resulting in Boba relying on Nightcrawler to bypass for a touchdown before being blocked during a extra point try attempt. With moments left, the Automatons speed back down the grid iron and into the endzone.
Second: With the chariot gone, Boba decides to return the favor and has Nightcrawler bypass them again. Samwise finds a path by Ionioi Hetairoi and the conversion is good. V injures the foot clan who are replaced by Bill Clinton. Shang injures Clinton and steals his kink, and then McCoy replaces Clinton. Kirby then absorbs McCoy, incapacitating him for a play allowing the Automatons to score and granting Kirby some traits of Bones. Pissed off, Boba brings in Green Lantern for a long field goal before the clock runs out - which is successful.

Third & Fourth: McCoy injures Iskandar early on, who is replaced by Sagara while Kirby uses his stolen abilities to fix Iskandar. In the meantime Sagara plants explosives on  their fourth down, and possession changes. During an offensive rally by the Mercs, the explosives go off injuring Boba, Bean, and Magneto. Shredder, Harvey Birdman, and D replace them. This is the final blow and destroys the Mercs onslaught, and the Automatons are able to pull away in the fourth.

Result: MM 23 - MA 42

Explorers vs Doctors

The Enterprise Explorers

vs.

The DHARMA Doctors

@ Some Fucking Island In The Middle of Nowhere

Paragon Percentage: Wolverine will enter play.

(I googled Wolverine+Football. Close enough.)

Coin Toss: Doctors win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lord Voldemort kicks off to Storm Shadow, who is taken down by Balrog.

Entire Game Synopsis: Though the Doctors manage to score at times, they're always a step behind the Explorers who overpower them. With Wolverine in play, the score quickly grows ahead of them until there is no hope of recovery. Highlights include Aquaman causing Thunder to flip over in the dock nearby, causing Hurricane and Bru to go check on their boat and then drown slowly.

RIP Randolph J. "Hurricane" Spencer, Martin "Bru" Brubaker, and "Thunder"

Result: EE 87 - DD 41

Mutants vs Spartans

The Morbus Mutants vs. The Requiem Spartans

@ The Technodrome

Paragon Percentage: Raiden will enter play.

Coin Toss: Spartans win, will receive.

Kickoff: Ghost Rider kicks to midfield and its eventually picked up by Spy who instantly delivers for a touchdown.

Entire Game Synopsis: After a season and a half of epic failure, the Spartans finally pull together. Once they get a lead, they guard it like greedy sirens on a lonely island. The Mutants never have a chance of recovery after the first quarter.

Result: MM 12 - RS 47

Lycanthropes vs Team America

The Lankhmar Lycanthropes

vs.

Team America: The Freedom City Stars & Stripes

@ The All-American Astrodome

 Paragon Percentage: Wonder Woman will enter play.

Coin Toss: Team America wins, will receive.

Kickoff: Bard kicks in long to Captain America, who avoids Hermoine but is taken down by Red Sonja.

Entire Game Synopsis: After a promising start by the patriotic Team America, Wonder Woman and Hermoine team up to pull all the resources at hand into a formidable steamroll of shitkicking.

Result: LL 81 - FCS&S 13

Assassins vs Grenades

The Asshai Assassins

vs.

The Atlus Rocket Propelled Grenades

@ The Rooftop of Junes

 Paragon Percentage: Sherlock Holmes will enter play.

Coin Toss: Grenades win, will receive.

Kickoff: Tyrion kicks lightly, and after a large scramble it is picked up by Eric Northman, who is taken down by Robb Stark after a short gain.

Entire Game Synopsis: With Holmesboy in play, the Grenades easily blow away the Assassins. Highlights include Walter flipping out on the Assassins and asking if hes the only one who doesn't give a damn about heraldry, and Dean figuring out that a car can take out Sandor.

Result: AA 6 - ARPG 33

Aberrations vs Sentinels

The Asgardian Aberrations

vs.

The Cybertron Sentinels

@ The Singasteinn Superdome

 Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon enters play. I mean, Batman would....but....yeah...you know.

Coin Toss: Aberrations win, will receive.

Kickoff: Megaman launches long to Goro, who avoids He-Man before Beorn takes him down after a gain.

Entire Game Synopsis: The Aberrations manage to cripple the Sentinels, with their rally gaining steam as Donatello methodically reprograms the machines working for the Sentinels to work for the Aberrations. By the end of the game only Optimus has remained loyal and fought the reprogramming, but he is horribly outnumbered.

Result: AA 61 - CS 18

Hippie Punchers vs Leviathans

The Mann Co. Hippie Punchers

vs.

The Innsmouth Leviathans

@ Mann Mansion

 Paragon Percentage: Both paragons will enter play. Oh shit.

Coin Toss: Hippie Punchers win, will receive.

Kickoff: Vorhees kicks to the midfield and after a scramble it is picked up by Scarface. Scarface has a wide open path but struts slowly, resulting in a stand off between him and Throttle and The Punisher. Scarface is severly injured but refuses to go down until he is within a few yards of the end zone.

First: The Terminator enters play while Scarface mends his wounds in a sea of cocaine. The Mothman, already seeing injury, turns the Shit level to the Real setting and Carnage and Casey Jones begin visciously attacking the Urak-hai who return in kind. All are removed from play. Ash and Blaze replace them, while Some Asshole in a Horse Head comes out for the dead orcs. Gordon and Ripley work to form a smart, sane approach to keep their shitheads in gear while Cthulhu does the opposite and convinces his to go bat shit crazy. Ripley isn't afraid of tentacles anymore so she gets Cthulhu to the side and effectively keeps him preoccupied the rest of the game. In the midst of all this, Pyro scores without meaning to. The team doesn't even bother with a extra point try.

Second: Back in play and pissed, The Punisher takes out his anger quickly. Teaming up with fellow leather lover Throttle, the two manage to take out War Machine while Kratos scores a touchdown. Ash Ketchum manages to prevent the try when he catches the kicked ball and chainsaws the fuck out of Smaug, using his death throws as a cover to score on the return. However Smaug's death throws fold over onto the bench line, injuring backup players for both teams. This calls Ripley back to the scene, which frees up Cthulhu to return.

Third & Fourth Synopsis: After the clean up of the dead, which for shits and gigles we'll call half time, the teams come back out with Cthulhu taking over for Smaug and Ripley replacing black flagged Ash for defense. Cthulhu begins to systematically drive members of the Hippie Punchers insane but fails horribly when he trys to drive Pyro insane. He can't get a lock on Pyro. This confusion angers him, and causes him to focus his attention on him/her/it. Meanwhile, the Leviathans can't seem to get by Ellen on defense.

RIP SMAUG



Result: MCHP 12 - IL 6