Doctors vs Mutants

The DHARMA Doctors

vs.

The Morbus Mutants

@ The Technodrome

 Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play

Coin Toss: Mutants win, will receive.

Kickoff: Ghost Rider kicks to Lord Zed who is taken down after barely any gain by Ben Hawkins.

Synopsis: In what may be the most boring, slow paces game in HFFL history, the doctors manage to get a lead solely because Hawkins and Crowe take far too long to put their plans into motion for a comeback.

Result: MM 9 - DD 15

Explorers vs Doctors

The Enterprise Explorers

vs.

The DHARMA Doctors

@ Some Fucking Island In The Middle of Nowhere

Paragon Percentage: Wolverine will enter play.

(I googled Wolverine+Football. Close enough.)

Coin Toss: Doctors win, will receive.
Kickoff: Lord Voldemort kicks off to Storm Shadow, who is taken down by Balrog.

Entire Game Synopsis: Though the Doctors manage to score at times, they're always a step behind the Explorers who overpower them. With Wolverine in play, the score quickly grows ahead of them until there is no hope of recovery. Highlights include Aquaman causing Thunder to flip over in the dock nearby, causing Hurricane and Bru to go check on their boat and then drown slowly.

RIP Randolph J. "Hurricane" Spencer, Martin "Bru" Brubaker, and "Thunder"

Result: EE 87 - DD 41

Mutants vs. Doctors

The Morbus Mutants vs. The DHARMA Doctors

@ The Technodrome

 Paragon Percentage: Jason Bourne will enter play.

Coin Toss: Doctors win, will receive.

Kickoff: Ghost Rider kicks for a scramble that is picked up by Storm Shadow, who makes a large gain before Ganon tackles successfully.

Entire Game Synopsis: With Bourne in play, the Doctors roll over the Mutants with ease.

Result: MM 14 - DD 38 

Pandas vs. Doctors

The Sexual Harassment Pandas

vs. The DHARMA Doctors

@ Some Fucking Island That Keeps Moving Through Time And Space But You Probably Don't Know Because You Stopped Watching Around The End Of The Second Season Stadium

Paragon Percentage: No paragon will enter play.

Coin Toss: The Pandas win, will receive.

Kickoff: Rita kicks off to Marty McFly, whose kink malfunctions due to the oddities of the time/space traveling island and he goes Back to the Endzone where Hurricane Spencer takes him down for a safety. 

First Quarter: Shaking off their early embarressment, the Pandas dominate the first quarter. Preventing the Doctors from scoring at all Flintstone enjoys the primitive island bonuses to score two touchdowns. The second time the 2 point conversion succeeds.

Second Quarter: Space Monkey fights back the best he can with his team things take a turn for the worse when Hurricane and Rocky start brawling on the 50 yard line. Leonardo tries to break it up only to be attacked by Goldar, and Firegorge and Vic retaliate against Goldar and then Storm Shadow. The fight blows out of proportion until Space Monkey is drunk in the stands with some cheerleaders watching and only Balboa is still standing, though brutally beaten. Marty, barely standing, manages to redeem his earlier mistake with a throwaway field goal that actually suceeds before succumbing to his wounds and passing out. The game is called on account of both teams being unable to field a full roster after their injured are removed.

Result: SHP 17 - DD 2

Mercs vs. Doctors

The Mandalorian Mercs vs. The DHARMA Doctors

@ Membata Memorial Stadium

Paragon Percentage: Sauron will enter play.

Coin Toss: Mercs win, will receive.
Kickoff: Rita Repulsa kicks to Bean, who is taken down by Hurricane Spencer after a short gain.
Entire Game Synopsis: Sauron and Samwise come together to help get Space Monkey good and drunk early on, lowering his efficiency for the Doctors and allowing the Mercs to begin to pull ahead of them. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes spend the entire game having a personal pissing contest, while Fett makes it a personal goal to take out Bru and Hurricane for annoying the hell out of him. With Sauron in play and Space Monkey drunk, the Doctors never really had a chance to keep up the pace. Blowout ball game.

Result: MM 82 - DD 21