The Freedom City Stars & Stripes
aka "Team America"
vs.
The Statistically Validated Stereotypes
@ The All-American Astrodome
Paragon Percentage: Neither paragon will enter play.
Coin Toss: The Stereotypes win, will receive. Typical liberal handout attitude.
Kickoff: Santa Claus delivers from afar to Gray Mouser, who manages to bypass the defense and instantly score for the Stereotypes.
First Quarter: Team America retaliates quickly by putting Palin and Romney....
(seen here. Romney only appears black due getting his elbows dirty to fix America.)
....into the running, landing consecutive touchdown fakeouts. Not to be outdone, the Stereotypes load up MS DOS and program Movie-Version-Deadpool into the endzone and into a successful conversion. By sheer dumb luck Willy Gilligan manages to return with an 80 yard touchdown but The Animaniacs manage a intercept during the try and return down the field for a touchdown of their own. The score is 20-19 Stereotypes going into the second.
Second Quarter: Tired of the bullshit, The Comedian takes out Palin, Rogers, Gilligan, and Grimes before Robocop takes him down. Team America field Captains Sternn and Freedom, Private Pledge, and Dan Connor leaving their bench nearly barren while The Nigga Merlin comes out for the Stereotypes. Late as usual. You people. The Lazy stereotypes decide they need a break for rest (you people!) and Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, Nightwolf, and Danny Lightfoot come out for a bit. Lightfoot and Nightwolf are drunk (YOU PEOPLE?!?) and Jax appears high, and may have just got done fucking Sonya (Eh, all people really). The lack of cohesion leads a pissed of Lancer to run the only touchdown of the quarter himself.
Second Half: The game comes to an early end when Jax uses his skills to ground assault the G.I.Joe team, allowing That Nigga Merlin to C-Walk into the endzone. The Joes are replaced by Jack Burton, leaving Team America with no backup (sounds familiar.....). The Stereotypes capitalize on this by overloading one side of the line of scrimmage (monotypes?) and blitzing Burton, injuring him and causing the Stars & Stripes to retire from the field to nurse their wounds.
Second Quarter: Tired of the bullshit, The Comedian takes out Palin, Rogers, Gilligan, and Grimes before Robocop takes him down. Team America field Captains Sternn and Freedom, Private Pledge, and Dan Connor leaving their bench nearly barren while The Nigga Merlin comes out for the Stereotypes. Late as usual. You people. The Lazy stereotypes decide they need a break for rest (you people!) and Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, Nightwolf, and Danny Lightfoot come out for a bit. Lightfoot and Nightwolf are drunk (YOU PEOPLE?!?) and Jax appears high, and may have just got done fucking Sonya (Eh, all people really). The lack of cohesion leads a pissed of Lancer to run the only touchdown of the quarter himself.
Second Half: The game comes to an early end when Jax uses his skills to ground assault the G.I.Joe team, allowing That Nigga Merlin to C-Walk into the endzone. The Joes are replaced by Jack Burton, leaving Team America with no backup (sounds familiar.....). The Stereotypes capitalize on this by overloading one side of the line of scrimmage (monotypes?) and blitzing Burton, injuring him and causing the Stars & Stripes to retire from the field to nurse their wounds.
Result: FCS&S 19 - SVS 38
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