“We got 2 old school teams here, I didn’t go to school with
them though. The Leviathuns are gonna kick ass and chew juicy fruit. Them Paalers
are more of the thinkin kinda team. So I don’t know what they’ll do. WOO
FOOTBALL!”
The teams meet midfield, the cloaked summoner from the
Leviathans is quiet as Conquest speaks for him. Iroque comes up with Trunks who’s
hair is purple at the moment, much to the chagrin of the brothers Winchester
who know what the Saiyan is capable of. The coin goes up, and the Impalers will
receive. “WOOO! We gonna see somebody die now!” The redneck commentator begins
to shovel popcorn into his mouth.
Pinhead kicks, the ball sails high, but not far. Glenn Rhee
takes the kickoff and heads up the field. He weaves deftly, keeping clear of
Kratos, Venom and the Terminator as finally the horsemen Conquest and Famine
corner him and he goes down at the Leviathans 40 yard line. Impalers offense
takes the field.
Trunks, a new QB to the league, looks left and right, hits a
quick handoff to the Grey Mouser who makes Glenn’s moves look like childsplay
as he weaves through the Urak-hai. For a quick touchdown to start the game.
Parallax “kicks”. However that works, and the Impalers prep to kickoff to the Levaithans.
Leviathans have Famine and Conquest linedup to take the
kickoff. As the ball sails through the air Iroque glows a deep indigo and the field
is flooded with compassion. Half of the players on the Leviathans collapse immediately,
suddenly overwhelmed at the lives they’ve blindly taken over the decades.
Venom, before SHIELD took him in, was guilty of so much killing. So much blood
on his hands, all their hands. Famine and Conquest seem unaffected, they simply
are what they are. There’s no reason to get worked up about lives lost. People starve
daily. Victory sometimes requires someone to lose a life. They tear across the
field on the Impalers. Conquest is in his element, riding down his opponent one
after the other, until Parallax unhorses him and sends him flying several yards
back. The Leviathans will take it from their 45 yard line. “WOOO! Did you see
that? He’s like all *insert strange horse riding noise here* and then that
there yellow guy was like ‘Nope’ and smack!
YEEHAW!” For some reason, this tickles the commentator to no end.
Larfleeze attempts to climb aboard the horse Conquest was
knocked from. But it kicks him off as he shouts “MIIINNEE” and lands on his
behind. He gathers his lantern and goes to the sideline as The Hand takes the
field. Conquest and Famine are steel eyed. But they can tell their comrades have
lost some of their fervor. Freddy looks like he might be dreaming himself,
Pinhead doesn’t look ready to kill, Kratos doesn’t even has his blades out,
Venom looks slightly emaciated, even the Terminator doesn’t have his normal
angry look. The horsemen share a look, and know they’ll have to shoulder the
load against these ninjas. The ball is hiked, the horsemen tear forth into the
ninjas driving several yards before a chain is strung out and knocks both
horsemen from their saddles. This won’t go easily, they glance to the Elder God
beside them, the only one here who might be older than them. He nods silently.
The ball is hiked, and the air on the opposing side of the line of scrimmage
seems to shudder and shake as The Hand’s members fall to the ground stricken by
some invisible force. The horsemen ride to the endzone without any resistance.
The extra point is good and the game is tied. “Them Palers are gonna make the
Leviathuns work for this one. No mass murdering today!”
The Impalers gather together for the kickoff, for some
reason allowed the muted Deadpool to catch the ball in the backfield. The
horsemen charge hard. Violator and Red Hulk hot on their tails. The
Merc-without-a-mouth, holds back for 2 moments, then lunges forwards and his
body is covered in fire as he begins to spin and fly forward tearing through
the Leviathans for another quick score. Trunks hasn’t even got to work yet, and
the score is 14-7 Impalers. Parallax kicks another time for the extra point,
then again down the field to the Leviathans. Conquest and Famine gallop up the field
until Trucks knocks Conquest out of his seat. Finally, getting to earn his
keep.
Conquest readies his men. Tries to get them worked up as the
2nd quarter begins. And they slowly begin to react a little.
Terminator first, throwing a few elbows here and there as he drives his short
passes into converted field goals. Not exactly his normal furious self, but
better at least. The Leviathans get close enough for a kick and accept it. The
clock is their friend here, they need to buy time so the witches blue light
magic can weaken further. Pinhead kicks, showing a little more gusto. And Larfleeze
catches the kickoff. John McClane, beside Larfleeze, shouts “I’m going to take
that ball from you!” and begins to chase his own teammate. Larfleeze reacts as
you’d expect by smacking him upside the head with a power battery. Making it
easy for Famine to stop the Orange Lantern as he yells “MINE! MINE!”
constantly. Back by where the Leviathans had started, Violator is seen laughing
watching John McClane get up and wonder what hit him.
Trunks gets to finally take over the offense. Splitting
passes between Gleen Rhee who takes big strides before the Urak-Hai get him out
of bounds, and the Gray Mouser, who takes a moment to shiv them every once in a
while. The Urak-Hai flood of orcs never ceases though. The head orc in the
center grunts something different, Sam hears the different in the guttural language
and yells out to Trunks. The Saiyan nods and drops back far as the orcs blitz
hard, as the horde comes at him, he charges up and slams through them, an easy
first down, on a charge that results in another touchdown for the Impalers.
Conquest speaks with his coach, the orcs simply aren’t
effective. There’s a better option, and it needs to be exercised, and now. The
summoner understands, and motions for Red Hulk to begin getting warmed up.
Which results in him getting angry and very warm. The Impalers kick their extra
point, and Conquest takes another ball to the 50 yard line with the kickoff.
They need to score now to stay in this before halftime. Conquest begins a
series of screen passes to Famine, getting Cthulhu involved as well, driving
down the field for a touchdown and risky two point conversion as the half ends.
The redneck at the media table looks bored. “They said there’d
be blood and guts. All I see is horseshit.”
The Leviathans exit the locker room looking less than
delighted. Terminator finally looks right to wreck something. The horror flick
stars and the symbiotes aren’t quite as excitable. The Impalers kick off to the
Leviathans, Conquest catches the ball and rides forward, when suddenly he is
struck from his horse by Venom. The ball goes loose at Violators feet, but he
hesitates moving towards it, as he seems to be staring at Venom who is lashing
about wildly with Cthulhu now. Trunks drops from the sky and sweeps up the
ball, taking the fumble in for a touchdown. As Venom snaps out of his possession
he strides over to Violator demanding an explanation. Violator pales, as much
as a clown can, and looks at the emotional entity of fear hovering around
midfield. If could Parallax could look smug, that’s what he’d look like. The
emotional entity leave to prep for his extra point kick.
After another solid kick, the Leviathans find themselves
down by 10. Conquest is angry. Violator is exhausted from having his mind
ravaged by Parallax. Famine wants a cookie. But there’s still a game to play.
Conquest and Famine get back out on the field, working Terminator and Cthulhu
again Terminator finally lashing out and taking some ninjas out for extra yards
needed for a first down. The Leviathans are winning the “time of possession”
game here, and we’re not talking mental. But the Impalers turnaround is too
fast. The drive ends in a touchdown, making it a 3 point game. But, the drives
takes a lot of time off the board, and the 4th quarter begins.
As the Impalers begin their drive, Harry Dresden makes a
funny hand motion a the Red Hulk, who’s been much better than the previous
orcs, or was, until he falls backwards incapacitated. John McClane runs a TD
over the top of the Hulk.
The rogues gallery is finally up to snuff again. Terminator
is locked and loaded. Baraka comes in to play Tight End for Freddy, who still
isn’t up for slashing. And the kick goes up to the Leviathans. Conquest with
the catch, and Baraka takes up his flank, opposing Famine. The Gray Mouser gets
close, blades flash, and the Mouser stops, holding his arm. McClane tries to
climb up the horse and takes a gauntleted fist to his face. Glenn Rhee tries
for a heroic leap, and lands too close for comfort on Baraka. Conquests horse
is finally called down, but medics come out for Glenn and the Mouser. McClane
waves them off and says he’s fine, another broken nose, but he’s getting too old
for this shit.
Sam can quickly deduce that the Indigo Lanterns light has
lost its effect on Terminator and Baraka, and it likely never effected the
horsemen. He glances to his brother, who shakes his head and leaves the arena.
Conquest drives his team like a slaver up the middle of the field. The hand
proving resistant, but not enough. Until suddenly, at the 10 yard line, the
ball is hiked and the Hand is nowhere to be seen. An engine revs, and from
behind Dean Winchester slams his car into Conquest and Famines horses,
crippling them both. Conquest comes off the horse, ball in hand, and is thusly
sacked. With minutes left to go, the Leviathans have to settle for a field
goal.
The subsequent kick to the Impalers leaves the ball in
McClane’s hands, who encounters a vapid Michael Myers and is taken down.
Michael seems to have left his knife, and Conquest bans him to the bench. The
Impalers offensive power is too much for the Urak-Hai, but they purposely drag
their feet to run out the clock, with their last score. Impalers take it 28-42.
Iroque is named MVP for the game. Conquest destroys the locker room in his
rage.
