THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT PANDAS
vs.
THE MITHRIL AUTOMATONS
Kickoff: Donkey Kong kicks off to Neil Patrick Harris who is tackled quickly by Kirby.
1st Quarter: The Pandas begin a hard-hitting running game with the very fast Flintstone. The Roughnecks can't catch him once he breaks the line, so they finally begin to double up on him. Clifford the Big Red Dog trembles the ground making the Roughnecks still lose their footing, allowing Flintstone to get into the end zone. Indiana Jones uses his bullwhip for an easy two point conversion. Mithril regains possession and Iskandar immediately chariots up and returns a touchdown. The Warriors can not physically stop V who makes the conversion.
2nd Quarter: Marty McFly quickly uses his perfect-for-a-shaky-cam abilities to move around the Roughnecks and show Iskandar that both quarterbacks can land a personal touchdown. Korben makes the conversion. The Automatons regain the ball and Kirby immediately sucks up The Warriors and takes their ability, thus granting all his allies it. Sailor Moon is buffed and manages a easy touchdown. The conversion succeeds when the Gelatinous Cube also sucks up The Warriors and buffs up its own stats to any of theirs that are better for the rest of the game, leaving them with the weaker stats.
2nd Half: Marty again goes for a strong running game with the Bedrock Whip play, doing a handoff to Indiana Jones who uses his bullwhip to immediately gain ten yards and then lateral to Flintstone who manages to run 10 or 20 more with ease each time. The smart plays by the Militant offense are unfortunately not aided by their weakened defensive line in a post-Kirby world. The Automatons are able to continuously drill out one-play touchdowns. Both teams are scoring often, but the Automatons pull away as they seem to score twice for every Militant score.
Final: SHP 58 - MA 83
You started to call the "Pandas" the "Militants" in this readout.
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