Grail Knights consume the Lions

“Sheet, this arena is cray cray up in here wit dis game! The Lions been givin’ away Batman masks and capes!” The redneck commentator is running in circles wearing said mask and cowl. “SWORE TO ME! Hehehe, ITS GAME TIME!”

Tywin Lannister clad in burnished gold breastplate steps onto the field, unbidden, his son Tyrion follows to the coin toss. The subject of much ire last season, Lord Voldemort, joins them. The quarterback for the Lions. The Grail Knights send Lancer, who is a seasoned veteran of many seasons in the league. Kirei Kotomine, a dangerous magus walks alongside him. The toss goes up, the Grail Knights will receive.

Jamie Lannister lines up to kick, Iskandar and Wolverine as ready downfield for the catch. He runs forward, the ball goes up the game begins. Iskandar calls out to his mutant teammate, and takes the ball. Wolverine, claws ready, runs in front of him to guard. Avoiding the majority of the team, Iskandar falls into a spell trap placed by Hermione. Who is ever so pleased with herself and is already walking off the field. A small section of house elves cheers for the young wizardress. “Little lady brought her homeless friends, now ain’t that sweet? Grails Knights are taking the field! Time to watch the Kingsguard what they do!”

Lancer steps out. Another year, another season. He surrounded by familiar faces, Magneto, Blackbeard, that…cube thing, and of course Iskandar. Damn him. The boisterous idiot. Lancer takes the hike and sends a bomb downfield to Mr. Fantastic, for a huge gain. Lancer smirks, take another hike and preps another throw to Reed. As Reed “steps” downfield a Kingsguard member throws a shield at Reed’s catching hand, causing the ball to deflect back to the knight. He turns and get a few yards with the interception before Magneto slams him to the ground with his power.

Voldemort is delighted, this is a new positon for him. And his new coach is ENCOURAGING the type of killing he wants to do. He lines up under center and throws a screen pass to Gregor Clegane, who is promptly thrown off his feet by Killer Croc, who seems to be wearing earplugs. “Hell, I didn’t know crocs HAD ears!”  The next pass goes to Tyrell, who, sword drawn, slams into Killer Croc and bounces back off him. The gain is good enough for a first down. The drive continues. The dark wizard is surprised at how spry his muggle teammates are, and how voluptuous the one in red is, he sends a pass sailing to her as Killer Croc knocks her aside, intercepts and charges. The dark wizard throws a spell or two, stuns aren’t working, Clegane and Tyrell’s blades bounce off his skin. Lara can’t get a grip to use jujitsu, so Killer Croc steadily saunters in to score. With the Lions players still hacking at him trying to take him down. Killer Croc has done as Kirei told him. Take the ball back. Take it here. But not more instructions were given. The massive reptilian monster sees a familiar sight, he sees several. “What the hell is that lizard’s problem?” Killer Croc begins to thrash about, the batman cowls in the audience, are they mocking him? BATMAN. Loras and CJ are caught in the frenzy, Loras take a harsh swipe to his side, blow flows freely from his sundered breastplate. CJ, is picked up overhead, and slung into the audience, where they’re delighted to catch her. As Killer Croc climbs into the audience, everyone flees and cowls are left everywhere.

“Tyrion, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were behind this shenanigan.” Tywin muttered coldly.
“Father, you wound me, would I play on the sensibilities of a murderous repile?” Tyrion retorts.
“Either way, it didn’t seem to go well for us, someone patch up Loras, he won’t be playing any more today.” Tywin commanded.

The Grail Knights kick the ball to the Lions. Lara Croft takes the kickoff and runs it back closing in on the endzone with only Wolverine between herself and it. Lara throws a wink at the berserker and his demeanor, for a moment, softens. Hearing Gregor behind her keeping her defended, he cups the cheek of the frozen mutant. “Man out of time, what kind of hidden treasure are you?” Wolverine is stunned “Listen dame, you don’t want to get close to me, anyone who does…” Lara ignore the monologue rolling the hand on his cheek down to his shoulder and leaping over the clawed mutant she returns the kickoff and runs back to her sideline while an enraged Wolverine finds out he was just had. “WWOOO! He got burned! Regen don’t work on no hurt pride!”

“That one, subversion, that was clever. She’s dangerous too. Not all your modifications were bad I guess.” Tywin observed.
“Why, was that a compliment?” Tyrion smirked back.
“No, you got lucky. The nursemaid in red is lost though. We have a game to win.” Tywin pulled his cloak in and moved to speak with the Kingsguard as the 2^nd quarter closed.

The Lions kick the ball back to the Grail Knights, who down it near their own 40 yard line. As the teams collide, Blackbeard makes his way towards Skywalker and throws him to the ground as the two collide. Wolverine smashes into Clegane as Magneto propels the two further down the field together.

The Grail Knights begin to do what they do best. With Wolverine and Magneto together again, and Lancer’s passing ability, there’s no stopping them as they score another easy touchdown. Another quick kickoff to the Lions puts them back to playing catchup. The Lions start using short passes to Croft, who has shown definite ability so far, until Croc gets by for a big sack on the dark wizard. The back and forth eats up the rest of the half, with the Lions settling for a field goal.

“Father, for a game we’ve never played before, we’re actually doing very well.” Tyrion attempted to calm his angry father in the locker room.

“No, we’re losing Tyrion. Loras is greviously injured, your bimbo is gone, and the Kingsguard can’t stop these fiends and whatever black magic they’re using against us. I’m going to have to put you and Jamie in if we lose another player.” Tywin threatened, as Jamie ran in with his hand a cauterized stump.
“Father! I’m wounded, oh god father my hand!”
Skywalker walked in behind him, lightsaber in hand. “He wanted to spar, I told him it was a bad idea with this sword, but he got all offended and just came at me. Thankfully, he won’t bleed out.”
Tywin and Tyrion share a look.

The 3^rd quarter begins. Skywalker and Bella Swan in place of the offensive players who are hurt or missing. Jamie is now on the bench with Sookie kicking. The Grail Knights set up to kick, Iron Man has been waiting patiently this entire game for one moment. It’ll happen, he just has to wait for it. The girl told him it’d work, but why does he believe her?  Sookie kicks, the ball flails awkwardly into the air as the Lions charge. Iskandar takes the ball and goes upfield as suddenly the words everyone has waited for is heard. “Avada Kedavra!” a blast of dark energy comes flying at Lancer who is coming up the sideline. Iron man knows he has seconds to react, a pocket on his side opens as a book pops out. He flies into the line of the spell, book held out, and the spell connects. Voldemort falls to the ground as the Diary of Tom Riddle turns to dust. Hermione on the sidelines turns and slyly winks at her house elf cheering section. The iron man suit has taken heavy damage, it goes to the locker room for repairs, Simba joins it.

Without Voldemort to lead them, Danerys is forced to lead the offense. She immediately summons her dragons to her aid, they swirl around and bathe Killer Croc in their breath attacks as he balls up to protect his eyes and belly. The smoke clears, and Danerys stands alone in the endzone. Casually, throwing the ball back to the ref. “I’m the true queen you know.” She quips as she sits down and the dragons join her. Killer Croc stands up, confused as to what has taken place, Kirei Kotomine is livid.

The Lions lead is short lived, as the Grail Knights shred their way up the field again. Lancer is untouched, 100% completion rate. The Kingsguard can’t get close against Magneto, and Wolverine has proven he can shuck them like oysters from a shell. The Lions run out of tricks when they possession comes up, and their offense has become as anemic as their defense. The 4^th quarter comes around, Blackbeard uses Skywalkers force power, which leads to a play read and subsequent turnover. Which the Grail Knights make into a touchdown. Iskandar showboats in his chariot, the Kingsguard can’t keep up. Another score. Another bad kick from Sookie. A buffed Simba emerges and throws the Kingsguard off their game even more. The 4^th quarter gets trivialized as the only interesting thing that happens is a new fetish is invented as the Gelatinous Cube consumes Sasha Grey. The Lannister Lions are routed by the experienced players of the Grail Knights, 42-17.